I had been waiting for some time to watch the WNUF Halloween Special. I'm a sucker for found footage, and this seemed to be playing up the "found" aspect to a T. It is presented as a lost Halloween newscast from Halloween night 1987 - complete with commercials, VHS dubbing effects, poor film quality and all. In order to promote it, the filmmakers actually left tapes around VHS conventions to be found. I was saving it for *The* Halloween movie this year. Unfortunately, I think I had psyched myself up too much for it. I was expecting "amazing" and instead got "pretty good."
The WNUF Halloween Special plays as if recorded on October 31st, 1987. We start off with a local newscast from a presumably smallish town. Our news anchors are dressed up in their Halloween costumes, giving us short stories about what is happening locally (the town is never called by name, if I recall) on Halloween night - police telling kids how to stay safe, dentists warning parents about the ills of eating too much candy, and the local religious groups rallying against Halloween. They also hype up the titular special, where reporter Frank Stewart (Paul Fahrenkopf) will be reporting live from the Weber house, which has been closed for 20+ years after a horrific crime - a man killed his parents there claiming to be possessed by the Devil. Stewart will be searching the house with two paranormal investigators, as well as a priest, to see if the local legends of hauntings are indeed true.
October 30th, 2014 - Devil's Messenger (1961)
Devil's Messenger is a short, sweet, and cheap little anthology from my 50 Tales of Terror budget set. I've always liked the idea of the horror anthology - some ideas are really not meant for full length feature films. And even if a story is terrible, it doesn't stick around long enough to be too offensive. Although if it's all terrible, anthologies can be even more of a slog than just a regular movie. Luckily, Devil's Messenger avoids being all terrible - really only one of the three is outright bad.
The framing device is actually my favorite part of this one. It starts at the Gates of Hell (or more like, Low-budget-Hell - I think the rocks in the back are just blankets tossed over a frame of some sort), where Lon Chaney Jr. is collecting a paycheck playing the gatekeeper of Hell. I'm not up on my Christian mythology, but does St. Peter have an *eeeeevil* counter part? But basically, he's just checking names and sending people to a bottomless pit, where actual (i.e. more expensive looking) Hell is hidden away from us, the viewer.
The framing device is actually my favorite part of this one. It starts at the Gates of Hell (or more like, Low-budget-Hell - I think the rocks in the back are just blankets tossed over a frame of some sort), where Lon Chaney Jr. is collecting a paycheck playing the gatekeeper of Hell. I'm not up on my Christian mythology, but does St. Peter have an *eeeeevil* counter part? But basically, he's just checking names and sending people to a bottomless pit, where actual (i.e. more expensive looking) Hell is hidden away from us, the viewer.
October 29th, 2014 - Dead Silence (2007)
This one is always remembered as "the time the Saw guy tried to make a scary doll movie." And I suppose that is kind of accurate. It is from James Wan, and it does have a scary ventriloquist dummy. But it would appeal more to people who are fans of simple ghost stories, rather than people who are fans of haunted dolls (are there those people?). Ultimately, it is much more of a ghost story along the lines of Wan's Insidious rather than a killer doll movie like Devil Doll or Magic. No dolls yelling or chasing people around here - maybe just moving their eyes and turning their heads.
I remember hearing that Wan just wanted to make an atmospheric ghost story, but then the studio pressured him into making it a bit more violent and visually shocking, so they could get an R-rating and say "from the director of Saw." So in that respect, I think Dead Silence is really kind of a test run for Wan's more successful future films like Insidious and The Conjuring. It's almost like he's learning how to build tension here - Saw showed he knew how to direct a film, but the tension there was more out of the threat of violence rather than the threat of the unknown. Some of the scare scenes here are extremely effective, but just about everything else didn't really work for me.
I remember hearing that Wan just wanted to make an atmospheric ghost story, but then the studio pressured him into making it a bit more violent and visually shocking, so they could get an R-rating and say "from the director of Saw." So in that respect, I think Dead Silence is really kind of a test run for Wan's more successful future films like Insidious and The Conjuring. It's almost like he's learning how to build tension here - Saw showed he knew how to direct a film, but the tension there was more out of the threat of violence rather than the threat of the unknown. Some of the scare scenes here are extremely effective, but just about everything else didn't really work for me.
October 28th, 2014 - Rawhead Rex (1986)
I've gotten into Clive Barker's short stories recently, so I was pretty stoked to see Rawhead Rex. Apparently, it's a pretty tough to find (legally). It's not available on any of the big sites, and the DVD is selling for over $100.00 on Amazon. Is it worth that much? Well, I don't know if any movie really is... but despite its short comings (of which there were several), it was still a pretty enjoyable monster flick with some progressive politics and a good sense of humor.
Incidentally, my copy was a VHS that I picked up maybe 10 years ago. It's funny, after a month of watching horror movies, the most startled I've been was from this VHS tape. The last person to have it was *not* kind and did *not* rewind, so I had to do it. I try to avoid doing so (I feel my VCR is fragile and don't even know how to replace it if it breaks), but what can you do. So I started the rewind, and it was loud, but fine for a minute or so. Then, as it got to the end of the tape, it got louder and more squealy - like in a horror movie where the music (usually strings) just keep getting more chaotic and higher pitched to ratchet up the tension? And then it hit the end of the tape with a bang. It was super loud - way more vicious than I've heard from this machine before. It made me exclaim "shit!" out loud, and made my heart race a bit. Good jump scare, VCR! (I think something was wrong with that part of the tape, because there were some visual problems in the first 20 minutes of the film). Cool story, huh?
October 27th, 2014 - The Vampires Night Orgy (1974)
The Vampires Night Orgy has a pretty misleading title. Not to get all horndog on you, but you figure that a mid-70's Vampire movie with "orgy" in the title is going to be a little sexually charged. But not here - you've got a peeper, a little bit of nudity, and that's about it. It must be going along with the classic definition of orgy - per freedictionary.com: uncontrolled or immoderate indulgence in an activity. In this case, the activity is the killing of a bus load of people traveling through the Spanish (I think) countryside.
Also, the grammatical vagueness and the lack of an apostrophe in the title is getting to me. Is it an orgy on the night of the vampires? Is it a night orgy involving vampires? Inquiring minds want to know! It is listed on the box (50 Tales of Terror) as Vampire's Night Orgy, which kind of makes sense - it is the Night Orgy of at least one Vampire. On imdb, it is listed as The Vampires' Night Orgy, which is probably the best (it's the Night Orgy of several Vampires) but looks stupid. In the movie itself it is listed as The Vampires Night Orgy, which I've been thinking about for several days (seriously) and am having trouble unpacking. I'm a bad English Major. But I've already spent too much time on thinking about this movie that was just passable at best.
Also, the grammatical vagueness and the lack of an apostrophe in the title is getting to me. Is it an orgy on the night of the vampires? Is it a night orgy involving vampires? Inquiring minds want to know! It is listed on the box (50 Tales of Terror) as Vampire's Night Orgy, which kind of makes sense - it is the Night Orgy of at least one Vampire. On imdb, it is listed as The Vampires' Night Orgy, which is probably the best (it's the Night Orgy of several Vampires) but looks stupid. In the movie itself it is listed as The Vampires Night Orgy, which I've been thinking about for several days (seriously) and am having trouble unpacking. I'm a bad English Major. But I've already spent too much time on thinking about this movie that was just passable at best.
October 26th, 2014 - Frightmare (1974)
There are apparently several movies called Frightmare. I guess it's an easy pun - apparently there are a bunch of episodes of TV shows that go by the name too. There was one a.k.a Horror Star from 1983 (per imdb: "Drama students decide to pay tribute to their favorite horror star by stealing his body from his crypt for a farewell party." Presumably horrific shenanigans ensue.) Another a.k.a. Paranoid from 2000 ("A group of high school seniors put on a haunted house to raise money... when 3 people are killed, they hunt for a serial killer before the haunted house is shut down.") The one I watched for today is a.k.a Cover Up, and is about a crazy cannibal woman and her estranged family. Odd that not even one is about dreaming, but I guess Frightmare is generic enough. Oddly enough, there is no Frighttime or Nightscare...
October 25th, 2014 - The Gingerdead Man (2005)
"I was really expecting to be blown away and spiritually moved by the drama, intensity, and relatable characters in Gingerdead Man."
- no one, ever.
It's called Gingerdead Man, and it's about a killer's spirit who magically inhabits a gingerbread cookie/bad hand-puppet. That should be ample warning right there. I appreciate that it tells you how terrible it is within the title - no hidden agendas here.
To be fair, this was a very late night inebriated watch for me. Which might be the only way to do it, really. So take that into consideration. But it was not a terrible way to kill an hour (60 minute run time! Plus a full 10 for credits). In fact, it might be the best murderous cookie movie to date! Watch out Snickerdoodle Slayer and Some Other Cookie/Murder-related Puns.
- no one, ever.
It's called Gingerdead Man, and it's about a killer's spirit who magically inhabits a gingerbread cookie/bad hand-puppet. That should be ample warning right there. I appreciate that it tells you how terrible it is within the title - no hidden agendas here.
To be fair, this was a very late night inebriated watch for me. Which might be the only way to do it, really. So take that into consideration. But it was not a terrible way to kill an hour (60 minute run time! Plus a full 10 for credits). In fact, it might be the best murderous cookie movie to date! Watch out Snickerdoodle Slayer and Some Other Cookie/Murder-related Puns.
October 24th, 2014 - Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of The Dream Child is "Swing and a Miss!" I admire that they decided to try something different - stylistically, this is obviously a lot different than the other films in the Nightmare franchise. But ultimately, I think I would have rather watched part 4 again. Or part 3. Or part 1. Just not 2. Geez.
Fair warning - I was pretty inebriated watching this. Three weeks into this "watching a horror movie every day" thing, I've realized that watching and writing about a movie is more work than I would have thought. Maybe I just don't write fast enough, I don't know. But at any rate, I like drinking too much to stay sober-ish for every movie (particularly in this case - we had just come back from a concert prior to my watching it). Even inebriated, I still feel like I have an okay gauge of what I like and what I don't, but this is just something to keep in mind. If I ever get paid to do this, I'll limit it to 2 beers tops. Maybe 3 if I'm going out with friends beforehand.
Fair warning - I was pretty inebriated watching this. Three weeks into this "watching a horror movie every day" thing, I've realized that watching and writing about a movie is more work than I would have thought. Maybe I just don't write fast enough, I don't know. But at any rate, I like drinking too much to stay sober-ish for every movie (particularly in this case - we had just come back from a concert prior to my watching it). Even inebriated, I still feel like I have an okay gauge of what I like and what I don't, but this is just something to keep in mind. If I ever get paid to do this, I'll limit it to 2 beers tops. Maybe 3 if I'm going out with friends beforehand.
October 23rd, 2014 - Here Comes the Devil (2012)
I'm kind of having a hard time with this one. One the one hand, there's a lot to like about Here Comes the Devil. It's a good combo of supernatural/possession horror and family drama, with just a sprinkle of police procedural thrown in. It goes after some big ideas about revenge (think Prisoners with Hugh Jackman from last year), the difficulty of adolescence, and familial responsibility, but ultimately ends up just on the "good" side of the "good/great" line.
After a seemingly unconnected scene of exploitative-feeling sex/murder, Here Comes the Devil centers on a family of four who are on a day trip in Tijuana. The children (the sister of maybe 13 and her younger brother, aged 11-ish?) decide they want to check out a nearby hill - you know the old saying about kids and hills! Mom and dad acquiesce, and quickly have sex in the car and pass out. When they awaken, the kids are nowhere to be found. Night falls, and obviously the parents are very concerned. They contact the police, who convince them to rest for the night in a hotel. They feel guilty, stressed, and devastated - and some cracks in their relationship start to show. But the kids turn up the next morning, and everyone is relieved. However, as the days go by, Mom starts to notice that not all is well with the children - something happened to them out on the hill. Were they attacked? Sexually Assaulted? Or something worse? You can probably tell by the title...
After a seemingly unconnected scene of exploitative-feeling sex/murder, Here Comes the Devil centers on a family of four who are on a day trip in Tijuana. The children (the sister of maybe 13 and her younger brother, aged 11-ish?) decide they want to check out a nearby hill - you know the old saying about kids and hills! Mom and dad acquiesce, and quickly have sex in the car and pass out. When they awaken, the kids are nowhere to be found. Night falls, and obviously the parents are very concerned. They contact the police, who convince them to rest for the night in a hotel. They feel guilty, stressed, and devastated - and some cracks in their relationship start to show. But the kids turn up the next morning, and everyone is relieved. However, as the days go by, Mom starts to notice that not all is well with the children - something happened to them out on the hill. Were they attacked? Sexually Assaulted? Or something worse? You can probably tell by the title...
October 22nd, 2014 - The Ghoul (1975)
So I got this pack of 4 movies called "Horror Rises From the Grave." I really love these budget packs - you never really know what you are going to get. Is the box telling the truth? Is that really what this movie is about? Will the sub-VHS quality even be watchable? You may get some super obscure titles that may otherwise get lost, movies that are just there for filler, and a varying amount of Enjoyable Bad Stuff. (Now, there is a lot of just Bad Bad Stuff too, but at $.50 a movie, who can complain?) But one thing that has always interested me is when a movie just gets renamed - you know, where the producers obviously just freeze a frame from the credits and superimpose their own title on it. I always wonder - is this legal? If yes, why the name change? I like to think there is an exciting story and intrigue behind these changes. To wit - what the movie as listed on the set, and then it's real name.
October 21st, 2014 - Hell Baby (2013)
It's hard to write about comedy and be interesting. So much of comedy is tone and context, and just retelling the jokes always falls flat. And Hell Baby is first and foremost a comedy. It certainly has horror elements, but there is no doubt that comedy comes first - and it succeeds on that front. It was definitely funny - although like all spoofs, it kind of loses steam as it goes. For some reason, the set-up in these things is almost always better than the payoff. But ultimately, it's the best horror spoof since - Club Dread? It doesn't have much serious competition for that title... but it's pretty solid nonetheless. (To be fair, some of the lists I checked out called Shaun of the Dead, Scream, Cabin in the Woods, etc. spoofs - in my eyes, those are more horror/comedy or meta-horror.)
Although comedy is always subjective - more so than horror I'd say. Horror is more primal/reactionary - you don't have as much say in what disturbs you. The cover art for Hell Baby says "From the Creators of Reno 911," so if you are into that dry, semi-improv, post-modern type of sketch comedy (as I am), I think you'll find a lot to like. But if that's not your bag, there certainly isn't much that would please the average horror fan, as it's not really scary, there is very little tension, and any gore is pretty much played up for laughs.
Although comedy is always subjective - more so than horror I'd say. Horror is more primal/reactionary - you don't have as much say in what disturbs you. The cover art for Hell Baby says "From the Creators of Reno 911," so if you are into that dry, semi-improv, post-modern type of sketch comedy (as I am), I think you'll find a lot to like. But if that's not your bag, there certainly isn't much that would please the average horror fan, as it's not really scary, there is very little tension, and any gore is pretty much played up for laughs.
October 20th, 2014 - Rigor Mortis (2013)
Rigor Mortis is a nice smorgasbord for fans of Asian Horror. There's a lot of stuff going on here - ghosts, mysticism/black magic, body horror, vampires (& the requisite vampire hunters), exciting fight scenes, and just good old fashioned murders. But it's all wrapped up in a stylish package that makes it a really exciting watch.
Rigor Mortis starts off with actor Chin Siu-ho who has fallen on hard times, both professionally and personally. He is clearly depressed about the dissolution of his family (he listens to an old recording of his son on his voicemail - although it is never made clear how/why the family broke up), and says he is "tired of smiling" and "I don't want to go on." As we are introduced to him, he is moving into an apartment in a huge, old, decaying building. The florescent lighting, exposed brick, sliding grates in front of the doors, and overwhelming grayness of it all make you think "this would be a great place to kill yourself." Which he promptly sets out to do.
Rigor Mortis starts off with actor Chin Siu-ho who has fallen on hard times, both professionally and personally. He is clearly depressed about the dissolution of his family (he listens to an old recording of his son on his voicemail - although it is never made clear how/why the family broke up), and says he is "tired of smiling" and "I don't want to go on." As we are introduced to him, he is moving into an apartment in a huge, old, decaying building. The florescent lighting, exposed brick, sliding grates in front of the doors, and overwhelming grayness of it all make you think "this would be a great place to kill yourself." Which he promptly sets out to do.
October 19th, 2014 - The Marsupials: The Howling 3 (1987)
So, I had really hoped Knight Chills was going to be the worst thing I had to watch over the next few months. It seemed like a good bet - but Jesus, The Howling 3. Just two days later. I was tempted to just put "F (forget!) This" and be done with the review, but I have "professional standards" to keep up.
I was recently bitching about how franchises nowadays needed and "Architect" - someone to watch over all the moving parts. But the Howling could have used it - there is no reason for this to even be a Howling movie - I don't know where, or why, other than cashing in on the name, this even exists. Because the thing is, the first Howling is really good, I thought. It had some good NYC sleaze to go along with it's quality werewolfing. Part 2 was a big disappointment, but nothing could have prepared me for part 3. Had I done my research (I never do), I'd have learned that Phillipe Mora, who was responsible for part 2 - didn't like how the studio meddled with part 2. So he bought the rights to the Howling 3 book (which has squat to do with his movie) so he could give it another go with his vision. Oof.
I was recently bitching about how franchises nowadays needed and "Architect" - someone to watch over all the moving parts. But the Howling could have used it - there is no reason for this to even be a Howling movie - I don't know where, or why, other than cashing in on the name, this even exists. Because the thing is, the first Howling is really good, I thought. It had some good NYC sleaze to go along with it's quality werewolfing. Part 2 was a big disappointment, but nothing could have prepared me for part 3. Had I done my research (I never do), I'd have learned that Phillipe Mora, who was responsible for part 2 - didn't like how the studio meddled with part 2. So he bought the rights to the Howling 3 book (which has squat to do with his movie) so he could give it another go with his vision. Oof.
October 18th, 2014 - Dust Devil (1992)
I came across writer/director Richard Stanley's Dust Devil because of a review for the upcoming documentary Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. Basically, that new doc is about that infamous Brando/Kilmer joint and how it was plagued with issues from the get go. Apparently, it was Stanley's dream project, but was hijacked from him just a few days after shooting began. And it's no surprise to learn of the behind the scenes issues - I'll always remember the Island of Dr. Moreau being one of the first times I came out of a movie theater and thought "now that couldn't have been what they were going for."
But the review of Lost Soul was super-complementary of Stanley, claiming him to be a "visionary director." Few filmmakers get that title (even in the exaggeration-prone blogosphere), so I figured I'd have to check some of his stuff out. But it appears that his bad experience on Moreau chased him away from feature films - he's directed a few documentaries, and recently seems to be getting back into the saddle by directing shorts, but the other than Moreau (which he is uncredited for) and Dust Devil, he only has 1990's Hardware to his credit. Which is a shame - judging from Dust Devil Stanley is certainly a unique voice in a filmmaking landscape that needs more of them.
October 17th, 2014 - Knight Chills (2001)
Oh man. Knight Chills was really bad. Earlier this month, I think while watching The Bloody Dead, I wondered to myself why there wasn't more Knight-based horror movies. Knights in armor have certainly been used before in horror, but I don't recall seeing a modern movie (or even one in color) where Knight = killer. So when I saw knight mask on the cover art, I added it right to my watchlist (leave it to Amazon Prime to have this!) and hoped for the best.
Now, I don't have anything against micro-budget horror. I understand just how hard it is to make a movie - hell, even getting one completed is an accomplishment. I totally respect the filmmakers in that... respect. But man, you've got to throw me a bone here. There was just nothing about Knight Chills that was enjoyable.
Now, I don't have anything against micro-budget horror. I understand just how hard it is to make a movie - hell, even getting one completed is an accomplishment. I totally respect the filmmakers in that... respect. But man, you've got to throw me a bone here. There was just nothing about Knight Chills that was enjoyable.
October 16th, 2014 - The Invisible Man (1933)
I have a pretty big gap in my knowledge of classic horror. I've seen enough to have an idea of what was happening from the late 50s on, but most anything before that has escaped me. So, when I saw the Universal Monsters BluRay collection on sale, I thought I'd scoop it up and check them out. Eight of the classics, restored in HD (Dracula, The Wolf Man, Frankenstein, etc...) - count me in!
But it seems pretty pointless to even review something like this. I figure there are two trains of thought on movies from this era. If you are interested, you've probably already seen it, or don't need some two-bit blogger convincing you to do so. If you aren't interested in classic horror or are in the "old Black and White movies are boring!" camp, nothing I can say is going to convince you otherwise. But I watched it and have to write something...
But it seems pretty pointless to even review something like this. I figure there are two trains of thought on movies from this era. If you are interested, you've probably already seen it, or don't need some two-bit blogger convincing you to do so. If you aren't interested in classic horror or are in the "old Black and White movies are boring!" camp, nothing I can say is going to convince you otherwise. But I watched it and have to write something...
October 15th, 2014 - Almost Human (2013)
"The following takes place on events that took place in Patten, Maine." Looking back on it, that's pretty vague. They could at least put a year in there or something. I can buy that maybe someone disappeared once in Patten. And maybe someone saw a UFO there. And some cursory research shows there is a famous abduction in Allagash (a three hour drive from there). BUT - if someone came back from said abduction, murdered a bunch of people, took some of their bodies, and impregnated them with this big long tongue/tube thing, I think we'd know about it.
Almost Human stars off with a bang - right away we're following Seth (Graham Skipper) as he races to his friend Mark's house. Seth's friend Rob has just gotten vanished in a bright blue light accompanied by an ear piercing screech (we don't see it) - Rob is never mentioned for the rest of the movie. Once Seth gets to Mark's place, the lights and noises starts again, scaring Mark's fiancee Jen (Vanessa Leigh). Mark gets all "I'm gonna grab my gun and check it out" and steps out into the front yard. He quickly disappears into the blue light.
Almost Human stars off with a bang - right away we're following Seth (Graham Skipper) as he races to his friend Mark's house. Seth's friend Rob has just gotten vanished in a bright blue light accompanied by an ear piercing screech (we don't see it) - Rob is never mentioned for the rest of the movie. Once Seth gets to Mark's place, the lights and noises starts again, scaring Mark's fiancee Jen (Vanessa Leigh). Mark gets all "I'm gonna grab my gun and check it out" and steps out into the front yard. He quickly disappears into the blue light.
October 14th, 2014 - Die, Sister, Die! (1977)
So this on my "Blood Feast" five movie budget set. The cover is this cartoony but still kind of gross butcher chopping a screaming lady up with a meat cleaver. Not really the sort of thing I proudly display on my DVD shelf - for some reason cartoonish depictions of violence trouble me. Not on film, but in stills - I guess I'm weird. (I have since put them in clear cases.) The film directly preceding Die, Sister, Die! - and the reason I bought the set in the first place - was the fun, fun 80's slasher Pieces. Pieces definitely lived up to the "Blood Feast" claim. I've seen more blood at a ... Normal Feast than in Die, Sister, Die! Which would be fine, it's really more of a mystery/drama anyways. The problem is that it isn't very good.
October 13th, 2014 - C.H.U.D. (1984)
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. I'm not spoiling anything. It's right there on the poster. So based on that you should have a decent idea of what this one is about. There has been an uptick in unsolved murders and missing person reports in New York City (the old, dirty one I only see anymore in 80's movies). The evidence suggests that someone - or something - living under the streets is responsible.
John Heard plays a George Shepard, a photographer who is fed up with advertising shoots and "trying to make a difference" with his photo-journalism. He is in the middle of a project where he is photographing an extensive community of homeless people living in the sewer systems of NYC. Daniel Stern plays "The Reverend" - an ex-con who has changed his ways and now runs a soup kitchen for the homeless. And Christopher Curry plays Bosch - a NYPD captain who has a personal stake in the case, as his wife is one of the persons gone missing. They must work together to figure out what is going on under the streets, taking on City Hall and "The Man" in the process.
John Heard plays a George Shepard, a photographer who is fed up with advertising shoots and "trying to make a difference" with his photo-journalism. He is in the middle of a project where he is photographing an extensive community of homeless people living in the sewer systems of NYC. Daniel Stern plays "The Reverend" - an ex-con who has changed his ways and now runs a soup kitchen for the homeless. And Christopher Curry plays Bosch - a NYPD captain who has a personal stake in the case, as his wife is one of the persons gone missing. They must work together to figure out what is going on under the streets, taking on City Hall and "The Man" in the process.
October 12th, 2014 - Abominable (2006)
Earlier when I was writing about Husk, I was thinking about what sub-genre of horror movie has the lowest batting average in terms of quality. I would guess "Scarecrow" would be up there, but I think "Bigfoot" may edge it out. (Ultimately, by sheer number of entries, "zombie" may give them both a run for their money.) I just figure genres featuring a monster with a relatively easy (i.e. low-budget) costume - an ape outfit from a costume shop, or a sack over your head - will most likely be leading the bad-movie pack.
Now, I love me some bigfoot movies, despite (or because of?) their bad reputation. I expect to be watching many more in the near future. But I'd heard Abominable being referred to as the best "serious" bigfoot horror flick (as many of them bleed over into horror comedy). That bar is pretty low, but I guess I'd have to agree. It's got a decent enough story (cribbing from Rear Window, of all things), decent performances, and enough gore to keep creature feature fans happy.
Now, I love me some bigfoot movies, despite (or because of?) their bad reputation. I expect to be watching many more in the near future. But I'd heard Abominable being referred to as the best "serious" bigfoot horror flick (as many of them bleed over into horror comedy). That bar is pretty low, but I guess I'd have to agree. It's got a decent enough story (cribbing from Rear Window, of all things), decent performances, and enough gore to keep creature feature fans happy.
October 11th, 2014 - Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Despite being a child of the 80's, I never really got to know any of the big horror icons as a child. I could talk my folks into checking out R-rated action movies, but horror was more or less out of the question, for a couple reasons. One, my mom didn't like violence, unless it was a sexy Van Damme dishing it out. I guess she couldn't justify taking me to see Jean Claude movies without okaying some of his contemporaries that were, um, less easy on the eyes. And two, I was scared! I was not okay with slashers as a child. I could swing the PG/PG-13 horror and could stomach creature features, but the ol' hack-and-stab was not my thing. So despite being around for their heyday, I had no first-hand knowledge of Freddy or Jason when they were in their prime.
I watched all of the Friday the 13th movies in one day a few years back, but I am still relatively new to Elm Street. Obviously, I kind of know about them through osmosis - Freddy is a pretty big cultural force as far as horror goes. So it's been fun getting to finally check them out - a friend has lent me the box set (Thanks Austin!) I had have already checked out parts 1-3, and hope to finish the rest by the end of the year.
I watched all of the Friday the 13th movies in one day a few years back, but I am still relatively new to Elm Street. Obviously, I kind of know about them through osmosis - Freddy is a pretty big cultural force as far as horror goes. So it's been fun getting to finally check them out - a friend has lent me the box set (Thanks Austin!) I had have already checked out parts 1-3, and hope to finish the rest by the end of the year.
October 10th, 2014 - Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977 / 2002?)
So I am already officially in the black. If everything I watch for the next 90 days is total crap, I'll still consider this whole thing a victory. Because Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is easily one of my favorite movies of all time.
Notice "my favorite" and not "the best." No one is ever going to be fooled that this is a traditionally good movie. It's called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, for god's sake. But it's a special thing when a movie comes along that meets your every movie going need... Death Bed just hits that sweet spot for me.
I know I'm really getting into a movie when I all of a sudden realize that I've been watching it for most of it's run-time with my mouth agape, just sort of amazed at what I am seeing. I get this sort of confused feeling, like I'm on drugs, or I've been transported to another land where the accepted rules of story-telling no longer apply. Death Bed is trippy, funny, artsy, and entertaining in all of the ways that I'm looking for in a cult film. Classic.
Notice "my favorite" and not "the best." No one is ever going to be fooled that this is a traditionally good movie. It's called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, for god's sake. But it's a special thing when a movie comes along that meets your every movie going need... Death Bed just hits that sweet spot for me.
I know I'm really getting into a movie when I all of a sudden realize that I've been watching it for most of it's run-time with my mouth agape, just sort of amazed at what I am seeing. I get this sort of confused feeling, like I'm on drugs, or I've been transported to another land where the accepted rules of story-telling no longer apply. Death Bed is trippy, funny, artsy, and entertaining in all of the ways that I'm looking for in a cult film. Classic.
October 9th, 2014 - Tomb of Torture (1965)
Anna is a young woman who is being driven insane by her horrible recurring dreams. They all take place in a remote castle - it is never very clear where it is located. Anna also happens to be a doppelganger for Countess Irene, who was murdered, in real life, in the very same castle that haunts her dreams! It's obvious Anna has some sort of supernatural connection to this place. Her father (also a respected psychiatrist) figures that the only way to rid her of this problem is to take her to the castle and face who-or what-ever is that is driving her mad. It is never made very clear when this all takes place - I would guess the early 1900's? That's enough for a movie, right?
What I liked
The music was pretty cool - there was kind of a space age bachelor pad thing going on. Lots of heavy reverb, crazy keyboards, weird woodwinds, etc. Not necessarily what you would expect from a gothic-style horror pic, but it was entertaining in a kind of goofy way.
October 8th, 2014 - Husk (2011)
Hey - you got zombie in my scarecrow movie!
It's kind of a weird thing when a movie is disappointing in the respect that you wanted it to be worse than it was. I had a couple of things that led me to wanting to watch a bad scarecrow movie... (1) My wife and I had just gone for our fall drive to look at the color (this is something that old people around here actually do) and I saw lots of corn/corn mazes, etc. (2) I wanted to watch something that I didn't like - I've been feeling like I've been a little too positive about the movies I've been watching lately. Unfortunately (or not?), Husk proved to be a pretty decent little flick, although it didn't fully scratch my scarecrow itch (not slang for a STD).
Very standard set up - 5 young folks are driving through endless stretches of cornfield on their way up to a cabin. Rather than actually getting to the cabin and having all of the bad stuff happen there, a couple of crows, presumably under a supernatural influence, divebomb their car (if you ever wanted to see what Birdemic would have been like with bird-gore, this part if for you). This causes them to crash and they end up stranded where way out in the middle of nowhere, were there is no cell phone service. They split up (of course) and wander through the fields to find help, only to have a supernatural force prey on them.
It's kind of a weird thing when a movie is disappointing in the respect that you wanted it to be worse than it was. I had a couple of things that led me to wanting to watch a bad scarecrow movie... (1) My wife and I had just gone for our fall drive to look at the color (this is something that old people around here actually do) and I saw lots of corn/corn mazes, etc. (2) I wanted to watch something that I didn't like - I've been feeling like I've been a little too positive about the movies I've been watching lately. Unfortunately (or not?), Husk proved to be a pretty decent little flick, although it didn't fully scratch my scarecrow itch (not slang for a STD).
Very standard set up - 5 young folks are driving through endless stretches of cornfield on their way up to a cabin. Rather than actually getting to the cabin and having all of the bad stuff happen there, a couple of crows, presumably under a supernatural influence, divebomb their car (if you ever wanted to see what Birdemic would have been like with bird-gore, this part if for you). This causes them to crash and they end up stranded where way out in the middle of nowhere, were there is no cell phone service. They split up (of course) and wander through the fields to find help, only to have a supernatural force prey on them.
October 7th, 2014 - I Bury the Living (1957)
"Science has learned that man possesses powers which go beyond the boundaries of the natural. This is the story of one confronted by such strange forces within himself."
I guess I hadn't learned that about science. There is no citation - so I can't confirm nor deny it. The "one" in question in I Bury the Living is Robert Kraft (played by Richard Boone), a business man who has recently been chosen by his peers to be the director of a local cemetery. In the main cemetery office there is a big map of all of the grave plots - white pins for those reserved for the living, and black pins for those that are already taken by the dead. Robert accidentally learns that if he puts black pins in a living persons grave plot, the person will die shortly thereafter!
So don't do that! That was my biggest issue with the movie. Once he realizes he has this mysterious power, he continues to put in black pins, or continues to be talked into doing it. He calls a reporter friend who says "there isn't a story here." My, how things have changed - now the press would be all over this like Bird Flu, or another topical disease. The cops can't find anything either. I don't know, if this happened to me, just once, I would just be all "hey, I shouldn't do that again!" and probably not tell anyone. But then there isn't a movie, I guess.
I guess I hadn't learned that about science. There is no citation - so I can't confirm nor deny it. The "one" in question in I Bury the Living is Robert Kraft (played by Richard Boone), a business man who has recently been chosen by his peers to be the director of a local cemetery. In the main cemetery office there is a big map of all of the grave plots - white pins for those reserved for the living, and black pins for those that are already taken by the dead. Robert accidentally learns that if he puts black pins in a living persons grave plot, the person will die shortly thereafter!
So don't do that! That was my biggest issue with the movie. Once he realizes he has this mysterious power, he continues to put in black pins, or continues to be talked into doing it. He calls a reporter friend who says "there isn't a story here." My, how things have changed - now the press would be all over this like Bird Flu, or another topical disease. The cops can't find anything either. I don't know, if this happened to me, just once, I would just be all "hey, I shouldn't do that again!" and probably not tell anyone. But then there isn't a movie, I guess.
October 6th, 2014 - The Bloody Dead (1967 / 1987)
So note the confused dates. I guess this was originally released in Germany in 1967 under the title "The Blue Hand," then was brought to the US in 1971 by Roger Corman and re-titled "Creature with the Blue Hand." (This despite the fact that *SPOILER* there is no Creature in the movie. Good old Corman.) Then, at some point in the mid-80's, someone bought the rights and added about 7 minutes super cheap gore bits to the asylum scenes - presumably to be able to market it as a gory zombie film. This new version is called "The Bloody Dead."
To be fair, I only bought my VHS copy 15 years ago because it was called "The Bloody Dead" and looked like a gory zombie film. So it's a win for them, I guess. The thing is, 15 years ago I would have been bummed that it wasn't as advertised (there's even what has to be a copyright infringing Freddy Glove on the cover!) Now that I'm more "mature," I really enjoyed this little tale of murder and madness - it's got a little comedy, a little intrigue, a little blood... a little something for everyone.
To be fair, I only bought my VHS copy 15 years ago because it was called "The Bloody Dead" and looked like a gory zombie film. So it's a win for them, I guess. The thing is, 15 years ago I would have been bummed that it wasn't as advertised (there's even what has to be a copyright infringing Freddy Glove on the cover!) Now that I'm more "mature," I really enjoyed this little tale of murder and madness - it's got a little comedy, a little intrigue, a little blood... a little something for everyone.
October 5th, 2014 - Devil (2010)
To me, this one sticks out in as being the movie that verified that the public had officially turned on M. Night Shyamalan. I remember hearing multiple stories of the preview showing in theaters, proudly announcing "From the Mind of M. Night Shyamalan" and people openly laughing/booing or just disparaging him in general. So perhaps it was a bit presumptuous to think this was going to springboard us into a series of M. Night produced thrillers - knowing that nothing else has come out 4 years down the line, it does make the "Night Chronicles 1" logo at the beginning seem a bit silly. (thenightchronicles.com advertises Devil and something called "Reincarnate," slated to shoot in 2011. I don't think it's out yet.) To be fair, this is *not* an M. Night Shyamalan jam (it's just "From His Mind") - this one is well-directed by John Dowdle.
But honestly, if Devil is any indication I certainly wouldn't mind if we got to see future "Night Chronicle" installments. It's not super-flashy, but it's a solid little thriller that has some moments of genuine creepiness.
But honestly, if Devil is any indication I certainly wouldn't mind if we got to see future "Night Chronicle" installments. It's not super-flashy, but it's a solid little thriller that has some moments of genuine creepiness.
October 4th, 2014 - Terror Vision (1986)
So I've had this stuck in my head all day. It's the theme to Terror Vision - listen at your own risk. I think one of my personal golden ages of cinema could be bookended by the times it was okay to have a theme song proper for your movie. Not just a "Footloose" where you share a title and that's it, but song that tonally matches what happens and maybe even explicitly spells out the plot of the movie in the lyrics. Almost always cheesy and always fun.
"Terror Vision" the song is a bit catchy, a bit funny, a bit annoying - which sums up my feelings for the movie. It looked really good and had some intentionally funny moments. Unfortunately, it's attempts to apparently "out-camp" any and all other recorded motion pictures made it ultimately more annoying to me than anything else.
"Terror Vision" the song is a bit catchy, a bit funny, a bit annoying - which sums up my feelings for the movie. It looked really good and had some intentionally funny moments. Unfortunately, it's attempts to apparently "out-camp" any and all other recorded motion pictures made it ultimately more annoying to me than anything else.
October 3rd, 2014 - Argento's Dracula (2012)
Oof.
I had read a lot about this one - the gist has always been "avoid at all costs." And avoid it I did, until it popped up recently on Netflix Instant. Argento has made a couple of no-doubt classics (and many other good to great films to boot), so I figured that it was time to give it a shot. I was hopeful - going into a movie with a negative mindset will never help. But shortly after the opening credits that hope vanished, and I began to see that the reputation this one has is well deserved.
I have not read Bram Stoker's original novel - basically, the oldest fiction I can read and retain in any way is HP Lovecraft (1910's on) - so I can really only base this on the other Dracula movies that I have seen. The most recent being Dracula vs. Frankenstein - the cheesy carnival one from 1971. Probably not the most well respected in the Dracula canon. But from my rudimentary research, it seems that some of the characters I didn't know of in Argento's version were at least were present in the original novel, which is more than I can say for most adaptations I've come across.
October 2nd, 2014 - Good Against Evil (1977)
Good Against Evil is a 1977 TV pilot/movie, which as far as I can tell never made it into an episodic show. By the end, the show is poised to be an odd-couple, road trip, hero-and-an-old-priest chasing down a satanic-cult kind of thing, which admittedly sounds kind of great. As it stands as a movie, it's a kind of a romantic-drama/Exorcist riff which is mostly neutered by the fact that it doesn't have any resolution to the main story-line, being a TV pilot at all. But there is just enough 70's quirkiness for me to give it a (slight) pass.
Confession... I haven't seen The Exorcist. I'll get that taken care of soon enough. It's always got this billing as "the scariest movie of all time," and I almost feel like I have to be in the right mood to take in a "classic." For whatever reason, I'd rather take my chances a cheesy TV movie that rips it off rather than the watch the original. Maybe it's because there's no fear of disappointment.
Confession... I haven't seen The Exorcist. I'll get that taken care of soon enough. It's always got this billing as "the scariest movie of all time," and I almost feel like I have to be in the right mood to take in a "classic." For whatever reason, I'd rather take my chances a cheesy TV movie that rips it off rather than the watch the original. Maybe it's because there's no fear of disappointment.
October 1, 2014 - Blood Glacier (2013)
I wanted to start this off right - something with an overtly horror-y title. I don't know if I've come across a movie title that I've liked more - maybe ever - and I was hoping the movie would live up to my lofty expectations.
The Movie
The set-up follows the template of The Thing - a group of scientists in an isolated location run afoul of some sort of mutation-causing life form and end up in a battle for their lives. Here, you've got 3 scientists (the meek, nerdy-type), a technician named Janek, and Janek's dog, Tinnitus. (Tinnitus has that horror movie cloud of doom hanging over him from the very beginning - you just know that things won't end well for this pup.) They are in the Austrian Alps to study... rocks? Minerals? Weather? I guess I missed out on that part. The important part is they're alone and far away from civilization.
The Movie
The set-up follows the template of The Thing - a group of scientists in an isolated location run afoul of some sort of mutation-causing life form and end up in a battle for their lives. Here, you've got 3 scientists (the meek, nerdy-type), a technician named Janek, and Janek's dog, Tinnitus. (Tinnitus has that horror movie cloud of doom hanging over him from the very beginning - you just know that things won't end well for this pup.) They are in the Austrian Alps to study... rocks? Minerals? Weather? I guess I missed out on that part. The important part is they're alone and far away from civilization.
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