December 1st, 2015 - The Big Bad (2011)

The Big Bad is an intriguing indie film that occasionally comes close to being ruined by its own indie-ness. Visually the film can be pretty brutal (the first 20 or so minutes have this weird haze in the picture), and there are some performances that are bad/off enough that they threaten to derail the whole thing.  But there's enough zest and energy to things that it ends up mostly working, and it builds up a pretty interesting world for our hero Frankie to journey through.

It starts out kind of rough... You've got some pretty shaky camera work (and that weird haze) as Frankie goes about town, clearly looking for a dude. She settles into one of the diviest bars I've ever seen and sort of befriends this drug-addict lady, and they do the typical indie dramatic yammering thing for a while. After about 15 minutes, it's still not clear what the film even is or will be. A dark and dramatic character piece about these two? A crime thriller of sorts? I actually stopped it to make sure that this was a horror film about 15 minutes in. But what Netflix says, goes, so I continued on with the film.

November 20th, 2015 - Treehouse (2014)

Treehouse is good enough to be disappointing. That counts for something, right? It's got a really strong first act, which does an excellent job establishing the relationship of our hero brothers (Crawford and his younger brother Killian) and the world they live in. For the first half, Treehouse reminded me (in a good way) a lot of the coming of age movies I grew up with in the 80's - it's a world where adults are present, but are very peripheral. We experience everything through the brother's eyes, and during the setup of the film it works very well.

Anyways: It's the night of the big town fair (or something). But we find out (actually we see, in the pre-credit sequence) that a teenage girl and her young brother have gone missing, taken by some unseen force. The sheriff says something along the lines of "the disappearances have started again" and is acting all cryptic, so the festival gets cancelled. Crawford and Killian are bummed, but they aren't going to let that ruin their night. So they go out into the woods to party, but when their friends don't show they say "eff-it" and light off some fireworks on their own. But one firework illuminates a treehouse high above the forest floor, and being rascals, they have to go check it out.

November 12th, 2015 - A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)

The other day when I was writing about Satan's Slave, I mentioned the proliferation of "girl goes out to an isolated estate and runs afoul of an evil cult" movies... and here's another one. A Virgin Amongst the Living Dead has the extra "benefit" of being a Jess Franco film (in quotes because he's a rather divisive filmmaker - personally I like him). And while this one feels a little less mean-spirited than some of what I've seen from him in the past, it's still got plenty of his trademark style, including a dreamlike plot and plenty of nudity. So while the general framework is pretty generic, it ends up being pretty interesting for an artsy/erotic horror film. It's a bit of a mess at times, but it's watchable.

Our main character is Christina - she's headed out to her recently deceased father's estate for a reading of his will. But her uncle Howard and a few of his friends (I'm not sure if they're family or what) were living there at the time of her father's death. And they're still hanging out, doing weird stuff, and maybe killing and eating people? At least you'd think so, what with the overall creepiness and random body parts hanging around. But they're definitely not zombies/the living dead in the traditional sense, so don't let the movie's title fool you. They seem mostly normal (except for one guy, who is a mute and is just strange in general), although they *may* have some sort of powers of hypnosis? Or maybe they're just a cult who eats people? Whatever they are or what they really do isn't made explicitly clear.

November 9th, 2015 - Suicide Club (2001)

I'm just not quite sure what to make of Suicide Club. I'm sure some of the nuances are probably lost in translation (it's a Japanese film) - but I suspect it's just kind of a weird movie anyways. So while I didn't always understand what was going on, I definitely dug it. It's a bold film with a lot of style and manages to pack in a lot of creepy imagery without ever leaning too heavily on ghost/paranormal stuff (a la Ringu and the other tech/ghost flicks that were coming out at the time).

It starts out at the Shinjuku train station, where 54 school age girls simultaneously jump onto the tracks, committing mass suicide. The police investigating the incident aren't sure what to make of it. Cult? Somehow Murder? They find a large bag with some pretty gnarly evidence in it... but that only muddies the waters further. Meanwhile, more and more people are just sort of up and killing themselves - sometimes solo, sometimes in groups. A random caller alerts the police to a website where dots appear whenever a person commits suicide - surely it's tied in, but how? Also in the mix? A cop's family, anonymous callers who constantly clear their throats (it's creepy!), a J-Pop group of five girls who may be sneaking subliminal messages into their music, and a gang of Clockwork Orange-ish thugs who kidnap people, wrap them up in sheets, and bring them to their home base (a bowling alley). Said thugs are also responsible for the musical number that is actually pretty cool but comes out of nowhere.

October 11th, 2015 - Mr. Hush (2010)

Well... I've had my eye on Mr. Hush for quite some time. The box art is pretty cool, and the description on Amazon says it's a "frightening throwback to the slasher films of the 1980s..." I don't think it is. Mr. Hush plays like someone asked the following question: "What if we made a horror movie, but instead of the villains being scary or intimidating or cool, we just made them really annoying?" It tries to be funny and clever, but ends up just being grating. I won't spoil just *what* Mr. Hush is supposed to be - hence the question mark label. But the screencap above gives you a hint. And it isn't rabbits - that's what I guessed at first. Because they look like carrots, yeah?

Anyways, it's odd that Mr. Hush unfolds as comedically as it does, because the first act is basically a somber tale about a Man Who Has It All (a loving wife, a great kid, always happy, and celebrating Halloween) And Then Loses It. Holland Price (Brad Loree) is chilling at home on Halloween night when a priest comes to the door, saying his bus has broken down and asking if he can use the phone. Except I don't think he's a real priest, because he kills Holland's wife and daughter. Holland just gets bonked on the head, and the assailant lets him live.

October 9th, 2015 - I'll Be There with You (2006)

Here's the synopsis for I'll Be There with You, courtesy of Amazon: "An idyllic spring break road trip turns into the vacation from hell as Aki, Annie and their friends find themselves crossing paths with numerous dangerous characters, including a band of escaped mental patients." That's *obviously* a horror movie, right? Well, it veers far more into the thriller category - people die, and there's a little gore here and there, but writer-director Akihiro Kitamura doesn't seem particularly concerned with scares, atmosphere, or building tension. I'm not sure what he *is* interested in though... I'll Be There with You is a strange, strange film. It's got this rambling/semi-experimental style that is watchable, but maybe not in the way it was intended. The synopsis says "genre-bending," but that just might be a nice way of saying "unfocused."

Anyways, Kitamura starts as Aki, a young Japanese man living in America who is very much in love with his girlfriend Annie. Aki is a bit anxious about his expiring visa, but he's not going to worry about it too much because SPRING BREAK! He's heading out to some weirdo resort/ranch type place with Annie and their random group of friends - Annie's friend Jill, another Japanese guy who speaks very little English but is Quite The Joker, an angry drunk guy, and some random loner that they invite at the last minute. Since the film opens with all of them dead in a field, you know that the trip isn't going to go well for them. But the "fun" is getting there, I guess.

October 2nd, 2015 - Evil Clutch (1988)

In honor of the release of my favorite band's new album, I decided to watch Evil Clutch today. That band, for the record, would be Clutch. Psychic Warfare came out today, and I have to say it's pretty darned great. Generally speaking, it takes a while for albums to grow on me, but there are a couple tunes on there that are already all-timers.

Although the "clutch" in Evil Clutch seems to imply a grasp - as in being in clutches of evil. And that's pretty evident, because it takes no time at all for a guy to get his dick ripped off by the clutch of a giant bird claw coming out from between the legs of our main zombie/vampire woman. So at least it starts "strong." But as for the rest of it? Well, this screen-cap sums it up nicely:

September 28th, 2015 - Almost Mercy (2015)

Almost Mercy was the very definition of a pleasant surprise. Or rather - an unpleasant surprise. It's a pretty nasty (but sometimes darkly humorous) film that kind of glorifies school shootings in a way, so I guess "pleasant" wouldn't be a very apt adjective. I wasn't expecting much, but I'd go so far to say that I was close to loving this film.

The film undoubtedly has a good sense of energy about it. It reminded me in a weird way of the wave of Tarantino knock-offs we got in the mid-to-late 90's - kind of hyperkinetic/hyper-violent and having an overly articulate narrator (which is not anything I necessarily think of when I think "Tarantino," but a lot of the knock-offs had that in common for whatever reason). So while that vibe may turn some people off, I feel like it's been long enough since that style has been en vogue that I'm open to seeing films in that style again. Plus, if it's good it's good.

September 20th, 2015 - Let Us Prey (2014)

Let Us Prey is a pretty solid horror-ish twist on Assault on Precinct 13. The whole shebang more or less takes place at a smallish Irish police station on Rachel Heggie's first night on the force. While out on patrol, she witnesses a hooligan kid run over a drifter looking guy. But the drifter vanishes into thin air! She brings in the kid anyways, which kind of annoys her assholish Sergeant. They put out an APB on the drifter, and the (only) other two cops on duty bring him in. But he seems catatonic - he won't talk, won't respond - just sits there looking all rugged and creepy. The fuzz calls in a doctor to check him out... and that's what we're left with. A-hole Seargent, Rookie, two other jerky cops, Drifter, Doctor, and a couple of other prisoners.

But unlike Precinct 13, the danger here comes from inside the police station. When he eventually speaks, the drifter is even more mysterious than he lets on, and *everyone* has some deep, dark secrets that they must own up to.

September 13th, 2015 - Nightmare Weekend (1986)

Since I watched Croaked: Frog Monster From Hell the other day, an entire new world of film has been opened up to me. It seems like Troma films has a ton of their stuff available on Amazon Prime... and while I'm pretty hit or miss on a lot of the films produced directly by Troma (they sometimes feel a little *too* intentionally cheesy to me), I'm pretty happy to have found a lot of the older independent films that they've distributed at one time or another. 

And for me, Nightmare Weekend was a wonderful find. Objectively speaking, it's a bad, bad film. But it's just plain weird enough, incompetent enough, and filled with enough WTF moments that I had a great time with it.

September 8th, 2015 - Death Warmed Up (1984)

Death Warmed Up is a pretty crazy Island of Dr. Moreau/zombie mash up that's surprisingly entertaining. The hit-to-miss ratio on this Pure Terror Budget set has been solid enough that I'm starting to expect good movies - or at least entertaining ones. And Death Warmed Up fits the bill - not "good," but a fun enough time. While the overarching story is relatively simple and easy to follow (dude goes to island for revenge on a crazy doctor), it's not a particularly well-told tale - it feels a little sloppy at times, but not enough to derail what is a mostly good time. It's a high-energy New Zealand import, made several years before Peter Jackson brought the New Zealand horror-comedy to international fame. Like Jackson's early films, there is mad-cap craziness to Death Warmed Up that is hard not to enjoy. While it's not as intentionally humorous as Dead Alive or the like, it's got some solid WTF moments/effects that will have you half-covering your eyes and half-laughing.

The film is about a young man named Michael who is hypnotized by Evil Doctor Archer Howell (I think). Dr. Archer claims to be doing very risky brain surgeries in the name of bringing immortality to his patients, but he seems to be more cut out to make psycho-zombies. Anyways, Michael's Father is a rival of Dr. Archer - i.e. he believes in being responsible and the scientific method and all that boring stuff. So Dr. Archer hypnotizes Michael and makes him kill his parents. Micheal is found guilty of the crime and sentenced to a mental institution.

July 30th, 2015 - Botched (2007)

Botched is a pretty good/kind of strange mash up style film. While there's no crazy twist or anything like that, the main concept of the film is out there enough that I don't really feel like spoiling it. If you know how it's going to go, you'll probably miss out on a lot of what Botched has to offer. I mean, it isn't a must-see or anything, but it's pretty fun. So sorry if this entry is a little vague - I don't want to be a party pooper.

Botched stars Stephen Dorff as Ritchie, a thief who is somehow in debt to the Russian Mafia. The film kicks off with a decent set piece where a big job he's a part of is flubbed, through no fault of his own. But the Russian Mafia is not known for their forgiveness, so to make up for this botched (see!) job he is assigned an even more dangerous task. He has to go to Moscow and steal a priceless heirloom from a wealthy family in the penthouse of a large (and well protected) building. Even worse, he's teamed up with two inept strangers to pull it off... a hothead wannabe big shot and his easily frightened brother. The big job doesn't go as planned, and the trio ends up with a group of hostages, stranded on a mysteriously unmarked floor in the building. And then some horror movie stuff happens... I'll leave it at that.

July 29th, 2015 - A Night to Dismember (1983)

"Worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate" is a pretty bold claim, but it's one I heard recently on the Badasses, Boobs, and Body Count podcast. So, being a lover of bad films, I was immediately curious. The argument on the podcast was that Manos is probably the best known "worst movie," but there are others out there that are in fact objectively worse. A Night to Dismember was Exhibit A. And now, having watched it, I would have to agree. While Dismember and Manos have a lot in common (they both really crappy looking, ineptly shot, and entirely dubbed over), at least Manos has a semi-coherent plot. I'm not totally even sure what A Night to Dismember is even about.

I mean, I guess the basic plot is that a young woman has just been released after years in an insane asylum, after she committed some heinous murders as a pre-teen. Her mom and dad happily take her back, but her brother and sister want her gone... out of jealousy, I guess? Anyways, once she's back in the house, people start getting viciously murdered again. It's up to an "intrepid" cop to not only figure out what exactly is going on, but to also NARRATE THE WHOLE DAMNED MOVIE.

July 26th, 2015 - Mystics in Bali (1981)

Mystics in Bali is the sort of cult film that I just love. There's some bugnuts insane horror stuff in there, but the overall story and execution is just so... off? In a good way though, one that is just super entertaining to me. I'm not sure if it's a translation thing (it's an Indonesian film and actually focuses on a legitimate piece of Balinese folklore), or an international edit that cuts out some pertinent stuff, but what you're left with is a fun concoction of bizarre effects, bad dubbing, and an overall groovy feel.

Mystics in Bali wastes no time in cutting to the chase. After a rad opening sequence featuring lots of Balinese percussion and cool looking masks, we are introduced to Cathy - an American student studying in Bali. She sounded that way, anyways - some reports have her as Australian. At any rate, a she's white foreigner. Hanging around with Cathy is her Balinese boyfriend Hendra. They *seem* to be romantically involved anyways, but anytime they are about to kiss or whatever, they are "comically" interrupted. But right away, Cathy is all "I want to learn Leyak" (a Balinese form of black magic), and Hendra is all "Sure! It's the most dangerous form of black magic, but I can help you out. Let me arrange a meeting with the Leyak Queen." (Besides interrupted intimacy, their relationship basically consists of Hendra doing whatever Cathy tells him to do.) Cathy wants to write a book about the dark arts, and figures the best way to learn about it is to get trained by the evil Leyak Queen. And it's apparently not that difficult of an application process, because before you know it Cathy is training with the really weird - and *constantly* cackling - Leyak Queen.

July 19th, 2015 - The Killing of Satan (1983)

I just don't really even know what kind of a movie The Killing of Satan is. I mean, it's about a guy named Lando (yes!) in a battle with the devil, and the title sure as shit sounds like a horror movie. (And you get a couple of surprising bits of gore totally out of nowhere.) But in the bizarre world of this Filipino import, somehow Christian mythology is mixed with guys who can shoot lazers out of their hands and have telekinetic powers. You also get some really bizarre shape shifters, teleportation, and lots of snake abuse. Praise Jesus!

Honestly, it's a hard one to summarize, and I don't think a synopsis does it any justice anyways. But the gist of it? Lando is a family man who is killed but brought back to life by his magical uncle, who lives miles away on an island somewhere. The uncle is a very powerful magic good guy, and is apparently fighting the forces of evil. It is the uncle's dying wish to pass on all of his powers to Lando - which I guess you can do when you are that magic. But when Lando goes to visit magic uncle he finds out that he has passed away. But that doesn't mean his uncle's rival - the Prince of Magic (a surprisingly toothless way of saying High Disciple of Satan) is going to leave Lando alone. Nope, the Prince of Magic heads to the island and attacks Lando and his family, kidnapping his daughter and taking her to be Satan's bride. Lando, along with his less magical but still pretty cool cousin, must journey to Hell (I thought it was just a cave, but I'll go with imdb on this one) to rescue his daughter.

July 14th, 2015 - Eraserhead (1977)

Prior to watching Eraserhead, I was mostly only familiar with David Lynch by reputation. I maybe saw Lost Highway as a teen (damned memory - I definitely had the soundtrack, at least), and am currently a couple of episodes into season 2 of Twin Peaks. That's about it. But even knowing that he's a really weird dude didn't really prepare me for the weirdness (and really, the grossness) of Eraserhead. Because yeah... it's really fucking weird. And honestly, I at least expected more of a *movie* movie - at least in the sense of having a traditional plot/central-conflict, or even normal dialogue... but nope. I'm quite certain that Eraserhead is good, but it's also persistently and aggressively off-putting.

Which is why I think Eraserhead would be a great candidate for a remake. I mean, it's a recognizable brand and beloved in some circles. But it's old enough now that we could introduce a whole new generation to it - keeping it's sensibilities, but being marketably "outsider" enough to appeal to at least parts of all four quadrants. Could you imagine how badass those puppet babies would be in CGI? And the merchandising would be a no-brainer - how many Henry Spencer costumes would you see next Halloween? And the snacks you could tie in... it practically writes itself! C'mon Hollywood - give us a remake the people *actually* want!

June 5th, 2015 - Bloodbeat (1983)

Abbreviated Entry...

May 10th, 2015 - Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

Based on the title, I had assumed that Let's Scare Jessica to Death would be some sort of prank gone wrong film. But that's far from the case. (Really, aside from being memorable, it's a pretty bad title.) I can't get too far into it without treading into spoiler territory, so sorry if this is brief. But it's a solid flick that I think fans of moody 70's horror (like me) could easily get into.

The film is about Jessica (surprise!), a woman who has recently been released from an institution following a nervous breakdown of sorts. The film gets us into Jessica's head right away - we hear her narrate her thoughts as she and her husband Duncan, along with their groovy pal Woody, move out into the country to escape from a hectic life in the big city. Duncan has sunk their life savings into an abandoned apple orchard, and the three of them are planning on getting that up and running again. But the small town the orchard is in doesn't take too kindly to strangers - they are super rude to them and basically call them hippie scum. (Although they seem too old to be hippies. While the middle-aged hippie is probably a thing in real life, I think they are underrepresented in movies.) Before they even *get* to the orchard, Jessica is seeing strange things and mysterious people... can the others see them? Or is Jessica just going crazy? Given her recent institutionalization, she's hesitant to share her experiences.

March 30th, 2015 - It Follows (2014)

For me, It Follows was another victim of being overhyped. I had heard so many good things about it in the weeks leading up to its release that it was probably impossible for it to live up to my expectations. I mean, I still thought it was a really well put-together and interesting film (and there's a lot more to chew on than the STD angle that you've probably heard about), but ultimately I was let down. And that's not the movie's fault - had I seen this as a random watch on DVD I'd probably be pretty damned pleased with myself right now. But that's the world we live in...

Presumably you know the story? Jay (Maika Monroe) is a young woman - maybe 19-20? Ages are never really discussed, but the group seems to be high-school aged and a little older. Jay has been on a few dates with this guy and has sex with him. It turns out he has passed on some sort of sexually transmitted curse to her. When you have it, you'll be followed by some strange evil presence that wants to kill you. It can take on a variety of looks (someone you know, or a total stranger), but it is always following you. And it can only walk, but sometimes it just stands there if that's scarier. No one who hasn't been cursed can see it, but if it catches up to you, you're dead. The only way you can get rid of it is to sleep with someone else and pass it on. But if that person is killed by it, it comes back for you. And so on, and so on.

So Jay has to first convince her friends that this is in fact happening to her, and then enlist their help to figure out just what is exactly going on. Is there anything she can do to get away from the titular it?

March 19th, 2015 - Honeymoon (2014)

It almost seems a little cruel to set your horror movie during someone's honeymoon. I mean, traditionally, that's like one of the happiest times in a person's life, yeah? It feels a little below the belt, if you will. Also, the fact that there are generally only 2 people on a honeymoon makes the potential victim list rather small. But the setting works pretty well in Honeymoon. It's a pretty quiet, low key, and uneasy feeling film - but ultimately, it delivers. The honeymoon setting isn't vital to the story or anything, but it gives things a little more dramatic heft. Plus, it makes it a little easier for the audience to care for our main characters - as opposed to if it was just a trip or whatever.

Bea and Paul are the two newlyweds here. They go to Bea's family cabin, which is isolated way out in the woods. But everyone wants a little privacy on their honeymoon, right? It just makes getting help a little more difficult in the off chance something horrible should happen... Well, one night, Bea wanders out in the woods (or was she led there?), kind of sleepwalking or something. Paul finds her in a daze. After that, something is wrong with Bea - she seems to be forgetting things and just doesn't seem entirely present. But what could have happened out there in the woods?

There isn't really any need to go further than that. Honeymoon is a pretty well-made slow burn chiller, and I guess the less you know about it, the better.