"The following takes place on events that took place in Patten, Maine." Looking back on it, that's pretty vague. They could at least put a year in there or something. I can buy that maybe someone disappeared once in Patten. And maybe someone saw a UFO there. And some cursory research shows there is a famous abduction in Allagash (a three hour drive from there). BUT - if someone came back from said abduction, murdered a bunch of people, took some of their bodies, and impregnated them with this big long tongue/tube thing, I think we'd know about it.
Almost Human stars off with a bang - right away we're following Seth (Graham Skipper) as he races to his friend Mark's house. Seth's friend Rob has just gotten vanished in a bright blue light accompanied by an ear piercing screech (we don't see it) - Rob is never mentioned for the rest of the movie. Once Seth gets to Mark's place, the lights and noises starts again, scaring Mark's fiancee Jen (Vanessa Leigh). Mark gets all "I'm gonna grab my gun and check it out" and steps out into the front yard. He quickly disappears into the blue light.
Flash forward two years. Seth is still a mess, seeing a doctor, popping pills, and waking up screaming from nightmares. Jen has moved on with her life and has a new fiancee. But the crazy blue light has come back - we know this from the MANY television reports we see - and Seth senses something is up. Some hunters find Mark naked in the woods and covered in goo, and he promptly kills them both. He looks like Mark, talks like Mark, but is clearly a cold blooded killer now! However, there is still a bit of humanity in him, and he seeks out Jen so they can start a little alien family.
What I liked
There doesn't really seem to be a narrative reason for it, but the movie is set in 1987/1989. I thought writer-director Joe Begos did a good job with the setting - the appliances, cars, clothes, etc. The differences from the late 80's to now are not mind-blowing, but it was enough to give the movie a slightly "alien" feel (get it?)
Lead actor Graham Skipper did a good job as Seth. I found myself sympathizing with him pretty much from the get-go - I bought into his tortured soul/recovering from a tragedy act. And I don't want to be cruel, but you ever feel like someone could be a good actor because they look... unique? He's got a memorable look - it may not serve him well as a leading man, but I can see him turning into a good supporting/character actor if he can find his groove. (He also reminded me a *lot* of Daniel Radcliffe. So if he ever needs someone to play his brother...)
And this isn't really a like/dislike, but there is a rape scene that is genuinely startling. When the scene starts, I just kind of rolled my eyes and said "here we go again..." I'm not saying there should never be rape scenes in movies, but I think they are *way* overused. You really need to be tactful, precise, and have a powerful message if you're going to go somewhere that vile. And I didn't think that this alien abduction flick had that much on it's mind. So when this scene goes off the rails into... not anatomically correct alien/human rape - it's pretty shocking. It's a brief, but memorable visual. Honestly, I have to wonder if this is the reason it got picked up by IFC midnight... most of the rest of the film is pretty by the numbers. The kills/other acts of icky violence are nothing over the top and wouldn't be out of place in your above average DTV horror. Other than this one spot, the movie is okay, but pretty forgettable. Or maybe I'm just giving IFC a little too much credit.
Also it was short (just about 70 minutes with credits), so it didn't overstay it's welcome by any means. And I *swear* they are using the Law & Order font in the opening credits. I was waiting for Dick Wolf's name to come up.
What I didn't like
Other than Graham Skipper, I wasn't too impressed with the acting in general. Josh Ethier was fine as the killer Mark, but he just had to walk around and look robotic. The rest of the cast went from okay (I wanted to like Vanessa Leigh as Jen, but she seemed wooden at times) to just bad. Many of the bit parts had to be complete non-actors - it was distracting.
Almost Human is also a bit over-reliant on using loud noises for scares. Not the GOTCHA! type, but the crazy noises the aliens make (during the abduction) and the screams Mark makes as he goes after his victims. It's supposed to be scary, but after a while it's just grating.
I had also assumed there would be a little more backstory or mystery as to what exactly happened in the two years Mark was gone. There are some very brief, chaotically shot/edited glimpses of some sort of experiments that were done on him, but overall we never get to see the aliens, the technology, or anything that explains the way he is. Also, I expected there to be a little tension as to whether Mark is bad after he gets returned to Earth. But nope! We don't even get the chance to wonder, as he is killing people right away.
Ultimately
I have to give Almost Human some credit - it was clearly designed to be a fast, no BS type thrill ride. But I was hoping for a little more meat on the bones. I just watched it 3 days ago, and had already forgotten how it ends. (I just re-watched it - it was pretty rad, actually!)
I would shrug my shoulders if someone asked me my opinion on this movie.
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