October 27th, 2014 - The Vampires Night Orgy (1974)

The Vampires Night Orgy has a pretty misleading title.   Not to get all horndog on you, but you figure that a mid-70's Vampire movie with "orgy" in the title is going to be a little sexually charged.  But not here - you've got a peeper, a little bit of nudity, and that's about it.  It must be going along with the classic definition of orgy - per freedictionary.com: uncontrolled or immoderate indulgence in an activity.   In this case, the activity is the killing of a bus load of people traveling through the Spanish (I think) countryside.

Also, the grammatical vagueness and the lack of an apostrophe in the title is getting to me.  Is it an orgy on the night of the vampires?  Is it a night orgy involving vampires?  Inquiring minds want to know!  It is listed on the box (50 Tales of Terror) as Vampire's Night Orgy, which kind of makes sense - it is the Night Orgy of at least one Vampire.   On imdb, it is listed as The Vampires' Night Orgy, which is probably the best (it's the Night Orgy of several Vampires) but looks stupid.  In the movie itself it is listed as The Vampires Night Orgy, which I've been thinking about for several days (seriously) and am having trouble unpacking.  I'm a bad English Major.  But I've already spent too much time on thinking about this movie that was just passable at best.


It all starts with a busload of people on their way to an aristocratic mansion - apparently the dozen or so people on the bus have all been hired to work on a wealthy family's estate for the season.  But the driver of the bus has a heart attack and dies, and it's going to be dark soon, so the people pull into the nearest small village to stay the night.  The village looks inhabited, but there are no people to be found anywhere!  Late that night, after everyone has shacked up in the local hotel (again, empty) one of our passengers is out for a smoke and checks on the bus.  He is ever so slowly attacked by the vampires, who aside from fangs, really seem more like zombies.  They attack slowly and in droves, and just kind of hogpile on their victims.

The next morning, the people awaken to an inhabited village - their story being that there was a village-wide funeral, which is why everyone was absent the night before.  Mysteriously, the bus doesn't work, so they must stay around for a few days while a volunteer from the village goes to town to get a part.  Every night, more and more passengers start to disappear and reappear in a dazed state, until our hero (played by Jack Taylor, the professor from Pieces!) starts to catch on.  Oh yeah, and the town restaurant has a big Bruiser Brody-looking guy who lumbers around with an axe and cuts off villagers appendages to serve as food.

What I liked

This movie had just enough "WTF-charm" to make it watchable.   First off, the music is just horribly inappropriate about half of the time.  We are treated to slow pans over an empty countryside, clearly meant to be foreboding, but we get a lively horn-filled soundtrack that sounds like the intro to a 70's game show.  Ditto for the stalking/kill scenes - we're just as likely to get a soothing, romantic string/horn combo as a creepy theremin.

And the dubbing/dialogue had me laughing a lot too.  No lines are quotable in and of themselves, but it almost seemed like they just took a literal translation from Spanish, disregarding if people ever would actually talk like that.  Extremely wooden delivery of lines like "it appears the wind is starting to blow" (as opposed to "it's windy") and the answer to the questions what's wrong? "It's a succession of strange things" and did you check there? "I was hoping to do so."  I certainly don't know too many people who talk that way - and literally every character here does.

It actually makes me wonder how much time was spent on the translation/redubbing.  I wouldn't be surprised if all of the music they used here was just stock from something else - it really just doesn't match up to the action in the film.  Again, it was on a Mill Creek 50 Tales of Terror collection, so I really don't expect too much from them.  Actually, as far as Mill Creek goes, it looked pretty good - it was in widescreen (a rarity for them) and there was none of the image problems you usually see on these budget sets.  The presentation was still a little dark, but still, it was a pleasant surprise.

Also, the cannibal stuff was pretty out of left field, but ended up being pretty funny.  The big oaf who collects the meat only says "I'm here on behalf of the countess," which everyone knows is code for "I'm going to chop one of your limbs off for meat."  And the big reveal to our heroes is rich - the cook just accidentally leave an intact finger in the dish they serve them.  Oops!

What I didn't like

Aside from the lack of an orgy, there wasn't a heck of a lot of action.  The horror scenes are all "our victim is trapped" and then the vampires/zombies just sort of grope them.  That, coupled with the bizarre musical choices, ensure there is never any real tension in the film.

The motives/mythology behind the town ends up being pretty unclear, as is the ending.  *SPOILER* When our heroes escape, the get the cops from the next town over.  When they get back to the village, the whole village is gone.  Not just the people, the buildings, the vehicles, everything.  The Village is just kind of there, until it isn't.  You'd just kind of assume it's a dream, if everyone else on the bus wasn't killed.  So it's really a pretty uninspired ending.

Ultimately

It was fine.  If there are any "entire town is weird" horror movie completists, it's probably a must watch.  The Vampire element isn't too prominent, so don't let the Vampire (or the orgy) angle fool you.  But still, you could do worse.  5/10.

I would   vaguely recommend   this film.

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