September 25th, 2105 - Exeter (2015)

I'm kind of curious how Exeter came to be. Netflix Instant was pretty intent on me watching it (despite thinking I'd give it one-and-a-half stars, it was on my little featured list for some time). And while it's not a Netflix Original, I don't recall it having a notable release. Not that I have my finger on the pulse of DTV horror or anything, but it at least looks like an expensive enough film - and has enough big names involved behind the scenes - that I don't get why there wasn't a minor theatrical push. (For the record, it was produced by Jason Blum, of "a shitload of horror movies" fame, and directed by Marcus Nipsel, who helmed the Texas Chainsaw Massacre & Friday the 13th remakes.) I'm not saying Exeter is good or anything, but it seems like the studios (often correctly) think they can just put whatever horror crap out and it will make money.

That's not an endorsement, by the way. The big issue with Exeter is that it has some aggressively grating characters. Honestly, aside from our lead, there are maybe two other characters (if you're being generous) that aren't nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying. There are a couple of things in the film that made me wonder if it was even supposed to take place in the real world, or if it's supposed to be some kind of horror-film parody or something. You've got the HORRIBLE supporting characters, and the speed with which they are able to throw together a MASSIVE party at an old abandoned orphanage was just crazy. Our main dude Patrick has some ins there - he's helping restore it for his church group. No sooner than Patrick says "no man - we can't party there!" - there's like a thousand people there, doing hard drugs and rocking out to a loud sound system. All they needed was some whooshing sound or something on the soundtrack to complete the effect.

May 15th, 2105 - The Damned (2013)

The Damned is a pretty decent little possession flick. It's got a little international flavor (the characters are mostly English-speaking, but it takes place in Columbia) and strays far enough from the standard demon/Satan-possession genre to be interesting. Instead of a demon, the possessing entity here is an ancient bruja (witch) who can leap from one body to another. In the rules of The Damned, if you try to kill the bruja, it can jump into from the dead body to the body of the person who killed it. So trying to take it out is no good - the best you can really do is trap it. The possessed person is pretty much the same as you'd expect from any possession film - crazy eyes, scary voice, super strength, knowing your secrets - but here you get all of that goodness without having to deal with the lame religious angles and poorly done exorcisms. Plus, here the possessed isn't tied to a bed or anything - it can wander around causing havoc while trying to jump to the strongest possible body, so The Damned has sort of monster movie feel as well.

The setup? A man and his fiancee are in Columbia to retrieve his adult daughter. The girl's mom passed away some years ago, so you've got a little family drama to deal with that isn't worth getting into here. (To be fair, The Damned doesn't feel like getting into it either - it's presented and then quickly dropped.) Anyways, dad, fiancee, daughter, daughter's boyfriend, and daughter's reporter friend are traveling through the countryside to get to the airport (or something) when they are caught in a crazy storm/flash-flood. The ensuing accident is really well done from a technical standpoint (it's the biggest set-piece in the film), but it totals the car and injures the fiancee. They run to the only nearby building for shelter and help, which happens to be an old decrepit hotel. The old man at the door refuses to let them in, but when the dad begs for help for his "family," the man gives in. He offers to get them towels but insists that they do not leave the living room.

March 23rd, 2015 - End Call (2008)

End Call is about a group of teenage girls who manage to get the phone number of the Devil. According to the urban legend, if you call He'll grant your wishes, but your life will be shortened by the length of the call. So just hang up! But the Devil is tricky, and stays on the line, racking up the charges on your phone bill up to $15,000.00! So you may get your wish, but you'll have to pay for it. And also, since it's the Devil, rather than shorten your life by a few minutes he just makes you miserable and then kills you.

It's a rather far-fetched premise, but I think even the most outlandish concept can work if it's treated with either (1) respect and intelligence, or (2) humor and wit. Or if you just mask the craziness with a lot of crazy style/eye-popping visuals/etc. Unfortunately, End Call doesn't have any of those traits. The Devil isn't really a character here (I was hoping for a guy painted red sitting at a switchboard), just a shadowy, voiceless presence on the other end of the phone line. There are also a few other issues here. (1) It's a Japanese horror film, so it's possible that some things are lost in translation, and (2) it's about a group of teenage girls, so it skews younger anyways. It's got an awfully 'soapy' vibe for a horror film.

February 25th, 2015 - Legend of Sorrow Creek (2007)

The last movie I watched from one of my Echo Bridge budget packs (Disturbed) was a big indie stinker, so I was a little hesitant about The Legend of Sorrow Creek. My fears intensified early on in the film when we have a scene where a cop and an anthropologist are roaming through the "deep woods." It's likely just a neighborhood park - you can see traffic moving in the background. It's got a pretty poor shot-on-video look too. But once we get to our main story, I was actually kind of impressed. Despite it's obvious cheapness, The Legend of Sorrow Creek is decently acted and manages to be unsettling at times. It won't win over anyone who is on a steady diet of slickly-produced studio fare, but to me it was a pleasant surprise.

We get not one but two prologues. In our first, we're way back in the olden days, if the sepia-toned picture is any indication. It's annoyingly dark most of the time - as in most of it is just audio with a black screen. Maybe they shot it normally (there are glimpses of footage there), but it didn't look convincing enough... Anyways, you hear a woman creepily saying bible verses and it becomes apparent that she is going mad. She hangs herself while her husband knocks on the door and yells frantically. He bursts in, just yelling "my wife! my wife!" in case we couldn't figure it out.

February 13th, 2015 (Trip Day 7) - The Appearing (2014)

Trip Day 7.

February 3rd, 2015 - Man With Two Lives (1942)

Man With Two Lives is another one from the Mill Creek Budget Pack "50 Tales of Terror." And like other recent entries from that set, it's a film that's more from a non-horror genre with just a bit of horror sprinkled into the mix. ("Terror" would be a strong word, but there is enough here to make Mill Creek vaguely justified in adding it to the set.) Our genre here? Mob/Crime Thriller, with a little bit of body-switching.

The story centers on Phillip Bennett (Edward Norris), a young man who seemingly has it all - he's from a wealthy family, is engaged to be married, and is leading a pretty happy life. Then one night, he's killed in a car accident. Luckily, his well-connected dad's best friend is a doctor/mad-scientist type (the good kind), who happens to be experimenting with bringing the dead back to life. Double luckily, his body was completely unharmed in the crash, as he died of shock and not, you know, the crash (?). Unluckily for Phillip, a notorious crime-boss killer named Panino (who we learn is "driven by a pathological need to kill") happened to be getting executed at the EXACT same time Phillip is being reanimated. Double unluckily, Panino's soul ends up in Phil's body! So Phil/Panino tries to get back into the old mob business, while trying to fool Phil's family into thinking he's still good old Phil. Good times!

January 1st, 2015 - Manhattan Baby (1982)

Happy New Year! Let's start it off with a Lucio Fulci flick! At least no women are graphically mutilated in this one... This is the first Fulci film that left me a bit disappointed. Up until now, his films that I've come across have been pretty dependable in terms of crazy violence, general sleaziness, or just plain insanity. But Manhattan Baby (titled to remind people of Rosemary's Baby) doesn't have much of those qualities to offer. Sure you get the occasional guy falling on a bunch of spikes or birds pecking off a guy's face, but there isn't too much here to recommend.

Contrary to what the title leads you to believe, the film actually starts in Egypt, with a guy collecting a live scorpion in a little plastic container - he thinks it would make a great souvenir for his daughter. Now that's good parenting! He's an archeologist named George Hacker, and he's on the cusp of a big find that some native Egyptians are warning him to stay away from. But of course scientific arrogance wins out, and he comes across an ancient "consecrated temple, whose members worship the forces of evil." Things do not go well - his assistant is killed by a booby trap and this crazy emblem shoots lasers into George's eyes, blinding him. Meanwhile, his daughter Susie and wife are out chilling at a different (mostly abandoned) site, and his wife leaves the daughter alone to go take some pictures. Again, good parenting! Anyways, a creepy old woman with whited-out eyes gives her some weird talisman - which happens to be the same emblem that blinded her father in the temple! Crazy!

December 30th, 2014 - Sea of Dust (2008)

Well... I don't have all that much to say about Sea of Dust, other than the fact that it isn't very good. There are a couple of "wait...what... What?!?" moments of unintentional humor, and some comically poor acting. But unfortunately the majority of it misses "so bad it's good," and instead finds itself firmly in the "so bad" category.

What I could make of the story? It's a long time ago (early 1800's maybe?), and a young doctor's apprentice named Stefan is traveling to the town of Heidelberg. His boss, a respected doctor, was called to the town because some strange random acts of violence are occurring more and more frequently - before the credits even start, we see a woman running around, screaming and perhaps being chased. Then her head explodes. Some sort of religious entity named Prester John exists in a dream realm, but is somehow able to control people in our realm. I think. And Prester John is getting stronger... Stefan and the town doctor try to get to the bottom of things. Meanwhile, in our subplot, Stefan is in love with a fair maiden who lives with her wealthy father on a big estate outside of Heidelberg. The father thinks Stefan is no good, and forbids him from ever coming back. But Stefan senses something evil is afoot at the estate, and goes back to save her. Does the evil Prester John have anything to do with the nefarious goings-on at the estate? Guess!

December 8th, 2014 - Fields of the Dead (2014)

Fields of the Dead is an okay little ghost story - one that I could never get behind 100%, but I almost want to give it credit for what it doesn't do. So many of these low budget haunting flicks depend far too much on editing tricks/jolty visuals/etc. - it was nice to see one that was actually relatively straightforward for a change. And it would have been *really* easy to go found footage with this - they are out in an old barn/cornfield doing research for our main guy's thesis project. Just say you're documenting the research and - BANG! - found footage horror movie 65218-C. And while the effects aren't grand by any means, they never try anything too outlandish. I've given some movies a hard time for trying things that are clearly out of their range (be it budgetary/skill-level/whatever). So I think I kind of have to give Fields of the Dead credit for knowing when to say when.

Now, that's not exactly high praise; there is still some kind of stupid stuff and it really isn't all that scary/suspenseful, but it goes down easy. Sometimes that is all you need.

November 30th, 2014 - Devil Seed (2012)

Everything I've read about Devil Seed says it's pretty much just an Exorcist rip-off. But I haven't seen that (tsk tsk) so I can't comment. But to me, it did seem reminiscent of another big horror hit - here's how I saw the pitch go: "Think of the Paranormal Activity franchise. Although no found footage stuff. And instead of just haunting this girl, the demon gets her pregnant. And we'll make it cheap. And in Canada."

November 3rd, 2014 - The Pot (2008)

Old people are scary.  So is religion.  That seems to be the general concept behind The Pot. Incidentally, I can't figure out why that is the title. Other than a brief reference to our main character being trapped in a pot (!) as a child, it really doesn't make a lot of sense.

The Pot is from South Korean Writer-Director Tae-gon Kim, and it's possible that there is something lost in translation, as the main arc of the story involves a non-religious family getting involved with a (potentially cultish) Christian church.  My extremely rudimentary research says that Buddhism is the dominant religion in South Korea, although there is a large Christian population there as well.  But obviously, with Christianity being the big boss here in the US, it will resonate differently with me.

October 25th, 2014 - The Gingerdead Man (2005)

"I was really expecting to be blown away and spiritually moved by the drama, intensity, and relatable characters in Gingerdead Man." 
                                                   - no one, ever.

It's called Gingerdead Man, and it's about a killer's spirit who magically inhabits a gingerbread cookie/bad hand-puppet.  That should be ample warning right there.  I appreciate that it tells you how terrible it is within the title - no hidden agendas here.

To be fair, this was a very late night inebriated watch for me.  Which might be the only way to do it, really.   So take that into consideration.  But it was not a terrible way to kill an hour (60 minute run time! Plus a full 10 for credits).  In fact, it might be the best murderous cookie movie to date!  Watch out Snickerdoodle Slayer and Some Other Cookie/Murder-related Puns.