Abbreviated Entry...
So most of June has been pretty brutal for me schedule-wise. Big Time Life Events™ of close family members (weddings/funerals/reunions) have conspired to make the movie-every-day thing rather difficult. I've still managed to watch one every day, but the end result of everything life has thrown my way is that I'm as exhausted as I've ever been. So to keep my sanity (and this blog going), I'm going to do things a bit differently for a little while - I watched the movies, but rather than the standard entry, I'll just do a little synopsis, a little imdb research, quote some of the reviews (can you do that?) and bounce off of them. Followed up by my general impressions.
Okay, thanks!
Assignment Terror
Honestly, I'm writing this a few weeks after the fact, and I really don't remember too much about this film. It left absolutely zero impressions on me, which is never a good thing. I mean, it sounds too good to be true (per imdb): "Aliens from a dying world plot to conquer earth by praying on man's superstitions. Bringing two dead scientists... back to life, they use their knowledge to re-animate various earth monsters, including the werewolf... Frankenstien's monster... the mummy... and the vampire Count de Meirhoff."
I mean, that sounds awesome! But the whole thing is so poorly done (and apparently cut to shreds for the English release) that it's just a big hunk of nothing. Nothing funny, or crazy, or scary. It's just kind of there.
Special effects are atrocious and the ending has to be seen to be believed. My favorite scene in the whole film is the one in the crypts of the house/laboratory where Danisky fight off the monsters one by one. He battling the mummy is a real hoot! The set designs; however, are fairly authentic, and the film would have been so much better with a more cohesive plot and some more realistic monsters. The film is fun though and should provide many unintentional laughs.
-Thanks "BaronBl00d" via imdb
If you say so. There was a little bit of mad scientist fun to be had (I liked the wonkiness of the lab where all of the bad stuff went down), but I don't remember the sets being anything noteworthy. Actually, nothing really seemed noteworthy. The makeup and effects were cheap as can be, and the story didn't make much sense. Other than random monsters fighting each other, and a "love conquers all" subplot, I don't even know that you have much of a plot to speak of.
In a sense, it's the ULTIMATE B-movie, so it should be very popular among that crowd -- it has everything they could ask for. The acting is pretty much what you'd expect and the dubbing is particularly good comparatively. The makeup for the four monsters isn't great, but certainly not the worst I've seen. The mummy inparticular has a great death scene ...
It's a very, very silly movie, but if you're a fan of bad B-movies, look no further. Aliens, vampires, zombies, werewolves ... how could they go wrong?
-Thanks "Teknofobe70" via imdb
I don't know how they could go wrong, but they did. Assignment Terror gets a lot of Ultimate B-Movie praise, but I just don't see it. While it has all of the elements of a great B-movie, the execution is lacking. Maybe the non-English release is better, but this film is just plain boring, which seems ridiculous when you consider the cast of characters.
If you can find a decent print of this, you're in for a truly bizarre experience. Highly recommended for fans of the absurd.
-Thanks "GroovyDoom" via imdb
To be fair, I couldn't find a decent print of this. It's on archive.org, but it looks terrible. The premise is so damned good - and so many other people seem to like it as a so-bad-it's-good thing - that maybe I was just having an off day or something? If I could find a decent cut, I'd probably watch it again - but then again, I do some pretty stupid things.
The American video release seems to be aimed at youngsters. This film is mostly violence-free, true, but it doesn't mean that any child should be subjected to this colorful tedium. This is strictly for the initiated into "so-bad-its-good" cinema.
-Thanks "silentgpaleo" via imdb
Yes! Assingment Terror definitely seemed like a kids movie. Like maybe something on a children's variety show, where they would cut from the host and use some stupid story for padding... something with known characters that never seems to go anywhere. That's what Assignment Terror felt like to me: a feature-length kiddie-show segment.
Overall, I was very disappointed in this film. It seemed offer so much (that plot description!) but in reality gave so little.
I would not recommend this film.
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