Watch out! We've got some Manos-style driving footage to go with our credits! Although at least Rise of the Scarecrows has the decency to put some credits over that footage. But that's about the best compliment I can offer Rise of the Scarecrows. When you can honestly say "I would rather watch Manos: The Hands of Fate" you know you've just seen a bad movie. At least Manos has Torgo.
I feel like I've watched and enjoyed enough ultra-indie fare that I'm willing to give obviously low-budgeted films a fair shake. I mean, just because something is shot with a consumer-grade video camera doesn't mean they don't have an interesting story to tell, right? Unfortunately, the story the filmmakers here have decided to tell is that "swearing is funny, domestic violence is funny, and fat scarecrows who *clearly* can't see out of their shitty sack-masks are scary." It would be an ugly, mean-spirited film if it weren't so poorly made. As it stands, it's just really bad.
Rise of the Scarecrows is about three friends - asshole Carlos, quiet scarecrow fodder Scott, and hero/recent divorcee Bill. The three amigos are going to go on a road trip to help get Bill's mind off of his relationship problems, but their car breaks down in the small town of Adams. They go to the town sheriff for help, but he strangely wants them to stay at the local campsite. Turns out the sheriff is corrupt, and just wants to feed the murderous scarecrows that have been lurking around the town for years. Fortunately for the friends, they've got a sympathetic ear on the Adams police force - Officer Brown. Brown just moved to Adams from "the big city" and was hoping for a more relaxed and quieter gig. Little did he know that he moved to Adams, the murderous scarecrow capital of... I'd guess Massachusetts, since Carlos the asshole has a BoSox hat. Brown senses something shady is afoot, and our heroes team up with him to take out the evil sheriff and the even eviler scarecrows!
The Good:
While the overall acting is pretty bad (even for micro-budget indie fare), the non-scarecrow big bad Sheriff Howard (Cedric Howard) is pretty good. You actually kind of feel bad for Howard (the actor), and I spent a lot of time thinking that he deserves something better. He's pretty much the only one who isn't super-awkward in his delivery. I guess this is his only movie though... so whatever. Also, the music, while not always good, at least sounds semi-professional. It's decently-mixed, and certainly sounds more professional than the rest of the film looks. (Please note that this *only* applies to the soundtrack - the actual dialogue is horribly mixed, resulting in many scenes that are difficult to hear.) I've actually had one song stuck in my head since watching it ("City Wide Special" by Brendan Skwire - the studio version sounds better).
The Bad:
Everything else. There isn't really an element of poor filmmaking that isn't on display here. Bland shots, bad special effects, awful sound, terrible fight choreography - it's all here! But I think even these faults can be looked over if there is something else to latch onto - i.e. a good story, interesting characters - or at the very least, a sense of humor. But unfortunately, Rise of the Scarecrows depends on obnoxious characters and a crazy amount of swearing, as if hearing "fuck" a lot will make you make you overlook its (many) shortcomings. And the filmmakers seem okay with padding out the film with scenes of terrible people yelling at women and scenes of domestic violence. It's aggravating and not entertaining in the least. I mean, I guess they all die so justice or whatever, but still. It's not pleasant, and not horrifying in the right way.
Horror-wise, there isn't really anything to offer. The *story* of the scarecrows is okay (they are construction workers possessed by demons (?), or something), but the execution is just bad. They look shitty, and when they attack people it's crazy weak. I mean, I get that you don't want anyone to get hurt on the set of your film, but they don't even come close to making contact here. At least the occasional sound effect would have helped things. But since the scarecrows obviously can't see, I guess you don't want them swinging too hard. (The "highlight" of the film for me was when a scarecrow was reaching for an ax on the ground and obviously couldn't see it through his sack-mask.) The gore is non-existent. There is one point where Bill says his friend was "shredded to pieces" (or something) - in this movie, that means about 6 ounces of fake blood poured down the front of your shirt.
Overall, I feel like the Netflix algorithms really let me down with this one. Rise of the Scarecrows was just a really, really rough watch. I don't want to pick on it too much (it feels like salt in the wound, you know?), but my goodness, is it ever bad. Not that I feel like there is any chance of you coming across it - as far as I know you can only get it on Netflix DVD. And I've seen this referred to as a "best worst movie" kind of thing... and I'm sorry. It's just not.
I would never, ever watch this film.
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