Today's movie really didn't stand a chance. I had just gotten back from seeing Mad Max: Fury Road (which is just ridiculously good), and I knew just about anything I'd watch would pale in comparison. So, I was looking for something that (1) I still kind of wanted to see so I wouldn't want to turn it off, (2) hoped would surprise me, but (3) would still probably not be very good. Enter: Hayride 2. (And interestingly, writing those rules made me think of the *other* summer blockbuster I'm stoked for - Jurassic World. I hope that fares better than Hayride 2, at any rate.)
When I watched Hayride a couple of months ago, I expected some decent slasher stuff and some bad character work - that's just the vibe I was getting. What I got was pretty much the opposite. I kind of dug the characters and dialogue (the bit where they were BS'ing about local legends and talk about a ghost who only shows up when it's windy *still* makes me laugh). But the slasher stuff, in particular the kills, were just unacceptably weak. I knew then that part 2 was in the pipeline, so I hoped writer/director Terron R. Parsons could keep up the good character stuff and improve on the kills.
And Hayride 2 undoubtedly looks more polished. I suspect they had a bigger budget to work with, and it shows. The image is more crisp and the camera work seems more assured. And you actually get some blood! Also, the original cast returns, which is nice for you continuity purists out there. But ultimately, it's a step down from part one, which wasn't all that good to begin with. Kill-wise, things are a bit better. There are a lot of random victims for Pitchfork to go after, and a lot more blood. But you still don't get anything all that creative or anything worth seeking out. Plus, by this point, we know that the vicious killer Pitchfork is actually a dumpy old farmer. Why can't anyone take him out? Some paranormal ties are sort of hinted at, but never fleshed out. Character-wise, it kind of sucks as well. I think getting to know the characters was the biggest strength of part one... here, we already know everyone, and they aren't given a lot to do.
At the beginning of the film, our main trio is waiting at the hospital - and at the end? They are probably headed back. So there isn't much of a journey here. (Insert your Fury Road joke here.) Hayride 2 follows the path of my recently watched slasher sequels See No Evil 2 and Cold Prey 2 by taking place shortly after part one, primarily at a hospital. Although to Hayride 2's credit, Pitchfork isn't actually dead here, so there's a little more credibility when he revives himself and kills the EMTs in the ambulance. The ambulance crashes in a CGI burst of flames on the side of the road, but Pitchfork then (for some unexplained reason) decides that he should head to the hospital anyways. Maybe he just should have played dead for a little bit and let them take him there?
Anyways, there are a lot of random staff members for him to (weakly) kill at the hospital. Luckily, he doesn't seem to want to kill our main characters (the two cousins, Corey and Steven, and Amanda, Steven's girlfriend who is also pregnant to help add a little drama). Instead, he seems content to just rough them up, or in Amanda's case, kidnap them. The filmmakers try to give Pitchfork a little backstory/mythology and explain how he ties in with these kids - but it's stupid and way too much of a coincidence. (i.e. I highly doubt this was a planned thing in part one.) And it's never explained if Pitchfork is supernatural or not - he's referred to as a boogeyman, bit I'm pretty sure he's just a fat old man in a sack mask. Not too many boogeyman can be dispatched of with a kick to the knee. Also, he's terrible at tying people up.
So there's just not much here. The acting isn't all that good, although I'm glad they stuck with the kids from part one, who are kind of likable in spite of some less than stellar acting. The odd couple cops, my favorite characters from part one, are back as well, but aren't given much to do. The only "name" - Richard Tyson, who I recognized from Kindergarten Cop - was killed in part one, but shows up here in multiple flashbacks (he's also listed as a producer). He's all right as he passes on some sagely southern advice about battling inner demons and monsters - "the only monsters you have to worry about are the ones on two legs," or something...
A couple of the kills are okay - just more bloody than anything, but still underwhelming for a slasher flick. They are pretty front-loaded too. Most of the action takes place in the first 40 minutes. Once Pitchfork abandons the hospital things slow down considerably. Since you aren't given much of a reason to care about the characters (other than "nostalgia" from part one), even the scenes where our main trio is in danger are pretty tension-free.
Hayride 2 also has some pretty misplaced scenes of drama as well. Our hero couple had a (pretty useless) pregnancy reveal in part one, so that's milked for a little bit here. Also, there's this one cop who is kind of treated like he's supposed to be an asshole (he gets the whole "I just wanted to be a good cop" speech on his deathbed), but he just seems like a pretty normal cop to me. He hangs up on a guy before a big reveal - just call him back! They should have shown him planting some evidence or taking a bribe or something. And there is more than one dramatic montage of injured people mourning/feeling beat-down and sad. I'd swear they would have used "Bad Day" if they had the rights - it would've worked perfectly.
Overall, Hayride 2 is just pretty weak. I was hoping for an improvement over part one, but part two just doesn't do anything all that interesting. It just sticks to a pretty bland slasher sequel formula, and doesn't even do that well.
I would not recommend this film.
No comments:
Post a Comment