May 2nd, 2015 - The Phantom Creeps (1939)


I had a passing familiarity with The Phantom Creeps based on its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000 - it was presented as a series of shorts in the earlier seasons of the show. (And I guess it *was* originally a 12 part serial, but here it's stitched together as one film.) I remember certain things - the freaky robot, the fake spiders - but didn't really have an appreciation for Bela Lugosi at the time. So I was glad to get the chance to see it as an uncut film, courtesy of the 50 Tales of Terror budget set. And honestly, it's kind of fun. Lugosi is pretty classic as mad scientist (hard to believe, I know) Dr. Alex Zorka. He gets a lot of power-mad dialogue and just seems really committed to the role. Don't get me wrong - The Phantom Creeps is no classic - it's pretty cheesy and kind of feels like fluff, but it passes the time okay.

The element Zorka has discovered can do just about anything - from making a death ray to incision-free surgery - although he seems most proud of the fact that it can put anyone in a state of suspended animation. He does this by putting a little cracker on a person (coated with the element), and then has a spider thing - the titular creep, which is attracted by the element - crawl to it. So you get a lot of comically fake spiders the size of tennis balls crawling around, which is nice. When the spider gets to the wafer.... BOOM! A little smoke and the person goes into a coma. It sounds pretty stupid... and it is. But that gives you a general idea of the science in The Phantom Creeps, and you just have to roll with it.

Anyways, Dr. Zorka has no scruples selling this technology to the highest bidder, although his wife and one of his former peers encourage him to hand it over to the US government. When Zorka realizes the feds are coming for him, he hightails it with his ex-con assistant (and his invisibility belt), and tries to get his wife away the g-men. Unfortunately, she dies in the process, thanks to the wafer/spider thing not working as planned. Now, Zorka is motivated by not only profit but also vengeance.

But Zorka realizes that a *lot* of people want to get their hands on his magical element (which he carries around in a fancy box) - multiple governments from around the world, international spies, even his sketchy assistant. With the help of his rad-looking robot:


Zorka tries to evade the law and exact his revenge.

The Phantom Creeps is a pretty light and breezy film. There's not a heck of a lot of substance to it, and Dr. Zorka is the only character that is anything more than a generic placeholder. And even his character is pretty cartoonish. Perhaps this lack of depth is due to the fact that it's a condensed serial - if you believe imdb, the original episodes combined for a runtime well over four hours - this version is 78 minutes. But I'd imagine it's like that by design. I mean, it's still fun at times, but the weightlessness of it all makes it kind of feel like a chore at times. Honestly, I'd think the serial presentation of this would be the way to go, should you feel like spending 4+ hours on a cheesy old Lugosi film. It'd go down easier in small chunks, is what I mean.

And horror-wise, there isn't much to offer here. That robot is legitimately creepy, but besides him there isn't much of anything in the film that would qualify as tense or scary. If you've ever seen a late 30's serial, you kind of know the tone to these things... a little too wacky and action oriented to ever really be scary. 

Lugosi is easily the highlight of the film. He's a very energetic and unsubtle mad scientist here, even by his standards. He over exaggerates every one of his lines and really gets into it when he explains all of the crazy things this magic element can do. The science is all malarkey, of course, but Lugosi sells it. If you are looking for campy/goofy Lugosi, The Phantom Creeps is a great example.

The film also has a couple of interesting uses of stock footage. Sure there are times where you can tell that they are using canned car chase scenes or whatever. But when Zorka is exacting his revenge on the world by throwing bombs from a plane, he starts laughing maniacally... and we cut to footage of the Hindenburg disaster and other actual bomb footage. I'm not going to get all "too soon" on this, but it's just not in very good taste. And it's a tonal mismatch too - it creates a couple of heavy moments at the end of an otherwise light as air film.

Overall? It's not surprising MST3K got some mileage out of The Phantom Creeps. It's definitely cheesy and has a lot of low-hanging fruit in terms of cheap sci-fi and wooden dialogue. Ultimately, there is very little substance here. Lugosi is great fun, and if you're looking for a little time killer you could do much worse. Still though, it's just okay.

I would   not, in the traditional sense, recommend   this film.



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