I'm always up for a little religion-bashing in my horror movies. It generally gives you a little more to chew on story-wise, although often times it's just there for a little extra jolt or cheap and easy shock. But I was kind of surprised how unbiased The Nun is - it's really more of a ghost-revenge tale rather than anything that takes any cheap shots at religion. Honestly, you could probably remove the whole Catholic school angle and the movie wouldn't change all that much. Although "Mean Boarding School Teacher Ghost" isn't a very good title. Plus, a decaying ghost in a nun outfit is a really good visual.
The story is about Eve (religion!), a young woman who sees her mother killed by a ghost nun. It turns out that her mom was in contact with a half-dozen or so other women who went to the same Catholic boarding school in Madrid when they were teenagers. The group is trying to arrange a reunion - but not a fun one. Apparently, every couple of days another member of their little group dies a gory, violent death. Eve gets wind of this and tries to get together with group and get to the bottom of just what the H. is going on. Along with her two friends and a helpful (and sexy) young man studying to be a priest, they travel across Madrid, eventually ending up at the boarding school where all of these problems started nearly twenty years ago.
The Nun is just okay. Visually, it works really well - the shots of the ghost nun in action are really pretty cool. She can only turn up in the water - like Ghost Shark! - so there are a lot of faucets mysteriously running in this film. And regardless of how she appears, her outfit is always flowing as if she is submerged. You also get some nice shots of the water as it mysteriously shoots up from the ground in these weird columns. The whole water angle is a nice visual hook, and it saves The Nun from being just another generic ghost story.
Because otherwise, the film doesn't have all that much to get excited about. The story is mostly predictable (they treat things that you figured out a half-hour earlier as major reveals), and the only thing that is a surprise (the ending) kind of sucks. The acting is pretty bland too. Nobody stinks out loud, but there's nobody to latch onto either (from both a character and performer standpoint). The Nun could have used a little color in the character department - everyone just kind of plays slight variations on the same half-concerned for Eve/half-frightened character. Aside from their ages, they're basically interchangeable.
It's too bad the film falters in the story/character department, because director Luis de la Madrid has a good eye for creepy visuals and building some decent tension. I thought the scenes of the adult school girls who were obviously going to get killed were well done, and the faucets and what not were a good, ominous precursor. (Although I'm afraid of leaky faucets too - less because of killer ghosts, more because of water damage.) And the scenes where our heroes inevitably discover the carnage work well too. Also, the abandoned boarding school is a quality set; special bonus points for the basement shower/tub area that gets totally flooded in the big finale. It looks good and gives the ending a different feel. The blood/gore is average - nothing too good, nothing too bad. The focus is more on the ghost stuff, but what gore you get is okay.
Oh, and there's a dog!
Name: Mambi
Breed: Border Collie
Function: To bark at the nun ghost, and to make us extra worried... we know the ghost wants revenge, but would she go so far as to kill a dog? Especially a dog that kind of looks like a nun?
Fate: No, she wouldn't. Mambi is a-okay - maybe a little sad at seeing her owner murdered. The dog looks sick for a minute after the ghost nun shows up, but then is okay an instant later. Hilariously, our heroes seem to feel worse for leaving the dog behind rather than not calling the cops about a woman who was crucified in her bathroom.
Oh, and that's another annoying thing. As the body count rises, the kids (and the adults) just refuse to call the cops, based on some promise they made almost 20 years ago. I'm sorry, I could maybe overlook one ritualistic murder, but once we get to murders I'm calling the cops. I don't care if my friend tells me it was a ghost nun that did it.
Ultimately, there isn't enough here to warrant a watch. It looks slick and the effects are good, but those are the only things that The Nun really has going for it.
I would hesitate to recommend this film.
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