After getting REALLY excited about the pretty goddamned awesome/bad Hellinger, I was looking forward to Holy Terror, as it was on the same disc. When I saw it was the same director (Massimiliano Cerchi) I was even more stoked. It'd be hard to match the sheer greatness of Hellinger, but could Mr. Cerchi have upped his game even more in the 5 years since Hellinger? I figured Holy Terror would at least be worthy of sharing a DVD with that powerhouse of a movie...
Well, it is and it isn't. Holy Terror is one of those movies that I'm not even really sure is a movie. I was ignorant of the runtime, had just cracked another beer, and was settling in for the long haul, thinking "there's been so much padding, we have to get into the real story soon, right?" And then it was over. 55 minutes. It was a long day and I was thankful for the length, but still. I want to say "inept," but I gather that there wasn't really a lot of effort going into this one. It's stupid enough to keep you off-balance and be vaguely enjoyable, but there just isn't a lot of meat on them bones.
The plot, as I can best summarize it: There's this landlord guy named Kane, who is kind of old and wears sunglasses all of the time. He is somehow beholden to this creepy old nun ghost/bad halloween mask, and finds people to live in this house where the ghost resides - so the ghost can kill them. Kane lets a young, attractive couple rent the place out, where they have a party... the kind of party where you can just dance and make out with your friend's dates and nobody cares. The kind of party where you drink scotch out of coffee mugs and play Ouija board for a long, long time. Kane shows up to hang out. The nun kills some (or maybe all) of them to a bad metal soundtrack. That's what I can remember.
It all looks pretty cheap and poorly shot, and really only has one location. There is a great deal of gratuitous nudity (my notes say 3 times in the first 18 minutes), so there's that. And I can't say for sure, but a woman rubbing blood on her naked breasts may be Cerchi's calling card. It's been in both Hellinger and Holy Terror. If it ain't broke, why fix it?
Part of me wants to label this blog entry as wasted watching, as I feel a little bad for not really remembering anything. True, I was a tad inebriated (it's the weekend), but I think in the case of Holy Terror there is literally nothing worth remembering. So I don't know. It's not good, but it's vaguely watchable in a trashy way. But I'm still kind of glad to have it as a notch in my belt, if not a little embarrassed. Between this and Evil Bong, it's been a rough weekend for 35-year old me, but would probably have been AWESOME for 15-year old me. Because nudity! It's better than Evil Bong, by the way.
I would watch Hellinger as long as the DVD is in there, instead of this film.
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