I guess it shouldn't come as much of a surprise, but Evil Bong really isn't that good. In the pantheon of Full Moon films, my best frame of reference would have to be The Gingerdead Man, in that they probably just thought of a title and then fleshed out a story around it. But where Gingerdead Man was stupid but still managed to be a little bit charming, I never really felt charmed by Evil Bong. It felt cheap and long and at some times just kind of embarrassing, which is the last thing I want out of a modern era B-Movie like this. Plus, Evil Bong tries really hard to be funny, and rarely succeeds. But I wasn't high while I was watching it, so maybe I missed out. But I'd like to think even stoners have their self-respect.
Evil Bong is about a trio of stoner roommates that come in three stereotypes - light, medium, and ultra. They love smoking weed and talking all "c'mon dude bro man" and what not. They get a new roommate in super-nerd Alistair, who doesn't smoke and is just focusing on his studies. Medium stoner reads an ad about a bong in High Times, and despite the warning that the "seller is not responsible" for its effects, he is "like super stoked bro" to use Alistair's money to buy it.
And once they smoke from it, you start to see where the "evil" comes from. When you smoke weed from it, you fall asleep, and then your soul (aka cheesy smoke effect) drifts from your body into the bong. Or, as we see it: a seedy strip club with a hazy effect around the edges. Here, your every desire can come true. Or at least, your every desire that could be fulfilled in your everyday strip club. But, it does give the film a chance to be padded with lots and lots of stripping, so there's that. Anyways, while you're there, you'll meet lots of other tiny Full Moon characters/hand-puppets (The Gingerdead Man, a Demonic Toy), several of which are masturbating. Then, one of the strippers will sit you down for a lap dance, and when she takes off her shirt, you'll see that her bra has some kind of teethed thing on it, that will eventually eat you. Then you are dead in the real world. All of this (somehow) culminates in the Evil Bong stealing your soul and gaining power.
And the Evil Bong sucks. Her (?) name I think is Eebee. She talks, but I guess it's all psychic, because she is less a puppet and more a statue. Her mouth moves the tiniest bit, and so do her eyes. But it's just a distractingly poor design. I don't ask for a lot... I just want a good bong puppet! Is that too much? Her goal is to "rule the world," although just what that means is never clear.
Most of the acting is not really that good. The guy playing Alistair (David Weidoff) fares the best - part of it could be his acting, and part of it could be the fact that he has very little dumb-pot related stuff to say. It's not a surprise that he steered clear of the (three and counting!) sequels, unlike just about every other major player in this film. And there are a couple moments that are just cringe-worthy - where you just feel embarrassed/bad for the actors that have to go through with this. If you like old people with foul mouths (I sometimes do), Jacob Witkin will probably be the highlight of the movie as Medium Stoner's grandpa, as he busts into their apartment and berates them for being terrible. Not only do I sometimes like old people swearing - but in this case, he's also right!
It's hard to invest too much into writing about it, because I don't think they put much effort into making it. I'm pretty sure they just knew the concept would sell itself, so they filled it with pot friendly music and just put it out there.
Ultimately. this is the sort of film that is review proof. Much like The Gingerdead Man, the title is essentially warning you to stay away from it. But like I said, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect (or at least hope) that there will be *something* in these movies to latch onto, you know? Except for one scene with a swearing grandpa and a great deal of gratuitous nudity, there just isn't really anything here to hang your hat on. So I don't know - maybe I'm just kind of stupid for thinking that Evil Bong was not going to be really bad. We're still waiting for the great haunted drug paraphernalia film that our generation deserves.
I would not recommend this film.
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