July 15th, 2015 - Blood Shack (1971)


Blood Shack is a super cheap, super crappy, super short... ghost movie, I guess? There's technically a ghost/legendary killer haunting an old shack on an abandoned ranch, but the film seems content to spend about half it's runtime dicking around at the local rodeo. Writer/Director Ray Dennis Steckler is not exactly known for his taut screenplays (see The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies), and here he tries to pad out about 30-35 minutes of "action" to feature length. I would argue that he doesn't really succeed. Even with a *lot* of padding via the rodeo, it's still only 55 minutes. Apparently, there's a 75 minute cut out there (since 55 wouldn't cut it for distributors). It's just the same movie with 20 more minutes of rodeo. Sheesh. So at least I watched the short one - that longer cut would be brutal. But still - there is still a kind of crappy-charm to Blood Shack. The performances are *just* out there enough, and the script comes together funnily enough, that there are segments of the film that are unintentionally entertaining.

The "plot" of Blood Shack: Carol has just inherited her family's big ol' ranch. It's rather decrepit and shitty, and there is one house on the property that is haunted. At least, according to Daniel, the caretaker of the ranch. Daniel is also the only guy that makes the film worth watching... his diction and overall acting (like a more hickish Forrest Gump on speed) are consistently entertaining.  Daniel tells of the legend of the "Chooper" (although I swore it was "Trooper" until I read up on the film), who has been known to murder people who trespass in the old haunted house on the ranch. Daniel does his best to warn them away  - if I could buy a t-shirt that said "Chooper's gonna git ya!" I would. But those who don't listen and end up victims of the chooper? Daniel takes their wallets and buries their bodies out in the desert - curious.

Anyways, Carol now owns the entire ranch, and is being persistently pestered by Tim, a neighbor who really, really, really wants to buy the property from her. He shows up every now and again to harass Carol - he may be the most one-note character I've ever seen in a film - and tussle a bit with Daniel. Oh, and there's a couple of little neighbor girls hanging around (Steckler's daughters - again with the padding). And, once you see The Chooper, he's pretty much just a dude dressed like a ninja who doesn't know how to hold a sword. So there's that.

As a horror film, Blood Shack is an abject failure. There is never any tension, and no gore or makeup to speak of. Usually, when The Chooper does attack, it's legitimately laugh-out-loud funny rather than scary. (And honestly, what kind of name is The Chooper anyways?) The story is not all that interesting - when the more pressing question is "will Carol sell the land?" instead of "who is the killer?" you know there is a problem. The whole thing looks cheap, and the main setting (the ranch) is about as bland as it gets. Plus, it seems like just about every scene in the film was just done in one take (consider the multiple times where a character loses their hat in the wind).

But Blood Shack is still kind of entertaining in a bizarre way. Daniel's constant freak-outs really steal the show, and there are times that I actually guffawed (and I'm not much of a guffawer) at him, The Chooper, and Tim's persistence in wanting to buy the ranch. And while the rodeo footage is boring and obviously padding, it hits that sweet spot where it's long enough to make you marvel at the poor film-making, but not long enough that you really get mad at it. (I'm sure that director's cut is rough though.) Also, Carol has some of the most rambling and obnoxiously reverbed voiceovers I've ever heard.

Ultimately, Blood Shack is for the so-bad-it's-good crowd only. And even then, it will take a special tolerance for ineptness and blatant padding to get through it. And I can't say you'll feel richly rewarded for having watched it, but if you like shitty things, you might be glad you did. Depending on your outlook on bad movies:

I would   maybe recommend   this film.

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