This was a Thanksgiving weekend trip movie. Which meant I needed something I could download to the old tablet. I came across archive.org about a month ago - it's a pretty rad (and legal) site where you can download many different types of media for free. The people who own the rights on any sort of property in any sort of medium can upload it there - with movies you can either stream through the site or download them. So I perused the horror section and came up with Beast from Haunted Cave. I knew I probably wouldn't be up for anything crazy after a long day of driving and family, so I wanted something that would go down easy. I didn't end up taking any notes, but I'm afraid there just isn't all that much to say about it anyways. It's a pretty bland 50's monster flick with really nothing to get excited about.
You might think this would be about a beast, but really it's more about a gang of bandits at a ski resort (shot on location in "picturesque" South Dakota). They have a plan to rob a bank or some such place - whatever it is, there are gold bars there. They will steal the loot and cross-country ski to an isolated cabin where a helicopter will pick them up. Along for the ride is Gil (Michael Forest), a ski guide who will help them get to the cabin but is ignorant of their illegal shenanigans.
In order to cause a distraction for their heist, the gang blows up an old cave/mine - unfortunately for them, they choose to blow up the cave where the titular beast lives! It does not takes kindly to the destruction of its home and decides to go after them. Also in the mix: the female member of the gang Gypsy (Sheila Noonan) is not only having second thoughts about her hardened life of crime, she also finds herself falling for Gil. Will love conquer all? Will our villains be brought to justice? Will our heroes face the wrath of the beast? Or at least get gently hit with it's broom-stick like arm? Tune in to find out!
Beast from Haunted Cave isn't very good. Our hero Gil is pretty much just an unexciting stock 50's do-gooder, and the gang is mostly pretty annoying. Their leader Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) is probably the most interesting character in the film - he's got some noir-ish qualities that at least make him slightly entertaining. He's a chain-smoking, smooth-talking, life-long criminal, and his monologue about why he's committed to his criminal lifestyle is the most (vaguely) interesting part of the film. (It's casual racism towards Native Americans is note/cringe-worthy too, I suppose.)
What wasn't that interesting? The monster. Really, everything else, but especially the monster:
It's pretty much just a pile of hair from what I can tell. It's a little scary in that you can't really tell what it is. But you get close-ups like this, as well as shots where it's arm (a jointed, clawed spider-arm thing) will reach out and hit someone. And it doesn't kill them at first - its got the spider-like tendency to web them up and suck their blood later. A little morbid (especially for the time), although just how it happens is a mystery.
If you care, the main story of the bank heist is never really resolved. They (SPOILER) kill the beast and the movie is just instantly over. That's actually probably the best part. I dig super-abrupt endings, and this was a pretty good one. Unless you are planning a super-abrupt ending film festival, there is nothing to recommend here.
I would avoid this film.
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