May 31st, 2015 - Terror (1978)

Terror is pretty cool, but also pretty confusing. The story seems relatively simple: witch's curse from centuries ago cause havoc and murder in the lives of a film producer and his actress cousin in present day 1978. But the way it plays out just kind of makes you scratch your head. It's not *totally* out there, but there are enough questions that you kind of have to wonder just how much director Norman J. Warren is intentionally eschewing common sense. I mean, how does this curse manifest itself? And who exactly is it going after? Giving it away would spoil the fun... and it really is a great deal of fun - especially the last half-hour where things get a little kooky.

Terror starts off with a nice title sequence (brightly colored stills from the film, and a broken, bleeding title), and segues into the story of the witch that was burned at the stake centuries ago. Some evil stuff goes down while she's getting burned, showing that she truly has dark forces on her side. After the witch burns, she somehow reincarnates, randomly showing up in the Queen's (?) house. She puts a curse on future generations of her bloodline ("every male and female of your line is damned!"), and then cuts off the Queen's head with a giant sword. We're off to a good start!

May 30th, 2015 - Awaken the Devil (2014)

It always strikes me as odd when online synopses pretty much ignore the main things you should know about a movie. For instance, check out what Amazon Instant has to say about Awaken the Devil:

Brothers Tom and Vernon stumble into an abandoned building for shelter, entering a hellish world of shadows and nightmares that would change their lives forever. Trapped and psychologically tortured by unseen forces... (and it cuts off here, at least on my Roku)

It makes no mention of what I thought was the most important thing about the film - that it's essentially animated. I mean, it does star real actors, but the backgrounds and supporting characters are mostly animated/CGI, along the lines of a Sin City (but a lot cheaper looking). It looked to me like it could have been on Liquid Television, if you're old enough to remember that sort of thing. And you'd save people a lot of trouble by mentioning that. Anyone looking for a "normal" movie won't be disappointed, and it may actually be helpful for those of us who are looking for something a little bit different. I'm sure I would have watched it sooner than I did had I known that it was made in that style. Oh, and if you read what comes after the ellipses on Amazon, it ruins the whole story. I'm glad it cut off where it did, so there was at least a little mystery to the narrative.

May 29th, 2015 - Grim (1995)

Pros:

- Monster looks kind of cool.
- some stupid B-movie laughs
- I watched a really shitty cave-based horror movie yesterday (Abandoned Mine), so this didn't seem as bad.

Cons:

- it's still really bad.

Grim starts off with some sort of seance - a group of people are playing with a Ouija board and accidentally (maybe?) summon a troll-looking creature from his holding cell. (He's frozen in stone, or something.) You get a good look at him early on in the film and he's a decent looking practical creation. He's got the stoutness of a big troll, but a face that reminded me of a smashed-in Rawhead Rex with plentiful sharp teeth and fangs. I guess his name is "Grim" - I don't think it's ever called out or anything though. He's not going to go down in history as being one of the all time greats as far as design goes, but he looks good. If he didn't have such a laughably bad movie surrounding him, he may be remembered more fondly.

May 28th, 2015 - Abandoned Mine (2012)

Abandoned Mine (aka The Mine) is pretty damned terrible in every sense of the word. Annoying and unlikeable characters, stupid story, lame and obvious plot twists... you can see the script *trying* - things get set up and paid off, so it's a little admirable in that that respect. And I guess it's pretty competently shot too. But still, it's a pretty rough and surprisingly unscary ride.

It centers around five friends in Small Town America. (Happy Valley, state unnamed. Although apparently there is a Happy Valley in Oregon, so there's that.) The friends spend the Halloween night in... you guessed it... an abandoned mine! Only this mine is haunted by a miner ghost and his daughters, because little girl ghosts are scarier than little boy ghosts. This Jarvis mine has a reputation, and none of the group, besides leader Brad, wants to even bother checking it out. (This is explained when the friends are all "you said we were going to *an* abandoned mine... but not the Jarvis mine!" You would assume their spider senses would have been tingling when Brad said "lets go to a mine on Halloween"... but whatever.)

May 27th, 2015 - Hayride 2 (2015)

Today's movie really didn't stand a chance. I had just gotten back from seeing Mad Max: Fury Road (which is just ridiculously good), and I knew just about anything I'd watch would pale in comparison. So, I was looking for something that (1) I still kind of wanted to see so I wouldn't want to turn it off, (2) hoped would surprise me, but (3) would still probably not be very good. Enter: Hayride 2. (And interestingly, writing those rules made me think of the *other* summer blockbuster I'm stoked for - Jurassic World. I hope that fares better than Hayride 2, at any rate.)

When I watched Hayride a couple of months ago, I expected some decent slasher stuff and some bad character work - that's just the vibe I was getting. What I got was pretty much the opposite. I kind of dug the characters and dialogue (the bit where they were BS'ing about local legends and talk about a ghost who only shows up when it's windy *still* makes me laugh). But the slasher stuff, in particular the kills, were just unacceptably weak. I knew then that part 2 was in the pipeline, so I hoped writer/director Terron R. Parsons could keep up the good character stuff and improve on the kills.

May 26th, 2015 - Murders in the Rue Morgue (1971)

I know next to nothing about the original Murders in the Rue Morgue story. I knew it was a famous horror story... but that's about it. (I just would have guessed Poe - because who else is there? - and I would have been right.) I guess I remember reading Clive Barker's homage to the tale (which I think had a killer gorilla, if I recall)... what I'm getting at is I have no real attachment to the original story. Which is fine... because after a little wikipedia research the film has very little to do with the story anyways.

But the overall tone and setting seem kind of in line with what I'd expect a Hollywood Poe adaptation to do. It's a period piece, set in the early 1900s, and while the murders that do take place are occasionally gory, they aren't far enough out of line to make this feel like a slasher (or get it an R-rating - it's PG-13). But apparently the only real connective tissue between the story and this film is that it takes place at a theater where a stage version of "The Murders in the Rue Morgue" is being performed. The film itself seems to borrow heavily from Phantom of the Opera, as our main killer guy has an acid burn on his face and a familiar looking mask and cape. He's also smitten with a particular actress, and goes to great lengths to make her notice how much he loves her.

May 25th, 2015 - Haunts (1977)

I'm not sure why I still get excited abut seeing Cameron Mitchell in the cast of of a movie. (It must be because of Space Mutiny.) I mean, I like the guy, but in Haunts, much like The Silent Scream, he gets top billing and just isn't around all that much. Maybe that's just his thing? And the plot description on Amazon is a little misleading... "May Britt plays a seemingly innocent farm girl convinced that her slovenly uncle (Cameron Mitchell) is the man responsible for the bloody scissor-murders of several local girls." First off, May Britt was in her mid-forties when Haunts was made, and I don't think you'd ever *really* suspect Cameron Mitchell - the synopsis actually swerves you more than the actual film. Plus, the box art makes it look like the devil will be involved, what with the goat head outline and cross prominently featured. But not such luck - Britt does milk some goats I guess, but that's about the extent of it.

At any rate, Haunts is a psychological thriller that is really a product of it's time - it's moody, slow, and plods along, but still gets pretty nasty at times. I feel like that's a kind of unique cocktail that you mostly see in 70's films. It's not particularly well done - some of the twists just kind of come out of nowhere, and it's not that technically proficient from a filmmaking standpoint. But it's still pretty effective at times. It actually reminded me of a more amateurish Let's Scare Jessica to Death. They've got kind of a similar vibe, and both focus on women with a shaky mental stability. Although Jessica is made with a lot more skill (and probably money) and has a better story and more engaging cast.