February 14th, 2015 (Trip Day 8) - Memorial Valley Massacre (1989)

Trip Day 8.

On February 7th, my wife and I went on a trip to sunny California. We started in LA, visiting a friend for a couple of days, and over the next week slowly drove up the coast to finish things up in San Francisco. It was rad! But, it made watching a movie every day/writing about it quite difficult. As committed as I am to this thing, I can't justify missing out on a potentially once-in-a-lifetime trip to blog about a terrible indie-slasher, you know? Plus, I think it's wise to occasionally do things with your spouse.

So things will be a little different for the next 11 entries. I managed to watch the movies, but rather than writing about them as I normally do, I'll do a quick little synopsis, a little imdb research, quote some of the reviews (can you do that?) and bounce off of them. Followed up with my general impressions. Okay, thanks!

California is pretty sweet.

Memorial Valley Massacre

A new campground is set to open in Memorial Valley. There have been numerous setbacks, but corporate asshole Allen Sangster (Cameron Mitchell) is committed to having the camp open on time. Who cares if things/people have been mysteriously disappearing? The camp opens on memorial day weekend, and people start getting picked off one by one. It turns out that there is a caveman-type guy living in the valley, and he's all about killing campers. Will Sangster's kid and the gruff camp manager (John Kerry - not *the* John Kerry), along with a misfit cast of campers, be able to survive the weekend? Tune in to find out!

imdb plot keywords, because they are occasionally funny:

    maniac / rain / cave / low budget film / biker

Reviews:

an 80's slasher flick in every sense of the word: low-budget film making, one-dimensional characters serving no further purpose than to be killed, and a paper-thin plot line revolving around a feral child in a caveman Halloween costume.This is a good movie for hardcore fans of slasher flicks and nights of drunkenness.
     -Thanks "yetanotherharris" via imdb

I am a fan of both slasher flicks and nights of drunkenness - unfortunately, I thought Memorial Valley Massacre was just okay. It's a little too cheesy for it's own good. It's almost played more as a comedy with the occasional killing rather than a horror film (never mind that it's not that funny). The campers are all pretty generic - the group of horny teenagers, the biker dudes, the rich folks, the ex-military guy - they are all so one-note that it's hard to care about them. And the killer is totally weak - he does cool stuff but his look is really, really, bad.

there is so much in this film that just doesn't make sense that it really doesn't matter. Just shake your head, laugh and keep watching. What I did enjoy about this movie is that it's so simple, light and easy to follow
     -Thanks "Chuck Straub" via imdb

Trying to poke holes in a film like this is a fruitless task - it doesn't seem to care, so why should you? You just kind of have to go along for the ride.

Cheesy 80's Horror Film... Not As Good As You Hope It is
     -Thanks "gavin6492" via imdb

This sums it up well. You hear the story, read the reviews, and legitimately expect greatness (in a so-bad-it's-good way). But it doesn't pan out. It's one of those movies that isn't trying enough to be good to be so-bad-it's-good. While it's entertaining in a nostalgic sense (as a peek back at all of the craziness that the slasher craze caused), it's pretty bad by every objective measurement of quality. I'm still glad I watched it though.

Final Thoughts:

Memorial Valley Massacre is okay enough to joke around to. I think it would go better with a bunch of beers and like-minded people to watch it with. But it is not a film that is worth taking seriously, and wasn't too fun to watch alone.