This entry is particularly painful. I accidentally erased this entire post (note to my fellow inexperienced bloggers: do not use command Z to undo a page break). So, not only is this whole thing a waste of my time, I have to relive the painful experience of watching The Pyramid.
I remember being sort of excited when The Pyramid came out last year. I'm kind of a found footage nerd, and a pyramid seems like a more interesting setting than a haunted house for the thousandth time. But bad reviews, a busy holiday schedule, and a remarkably short theatrical run kept me away. And that's probably a good thing, because The Pyramid is a really bad, bordering on awful movie... one that would have probably invited to a regret-filled theatrical experience.
Which is too bad, as it's got a couple of interesting things going for it. First off, the story/setting is relatively unique: there hasn't been a big haunted Egypt/mummy/pyramid film in recent memory (screw the Sommers flicks), and it'd be interesting to see an update of that. Plus, the political strife in the region lends a little extra air of unpredictability to things. (Not that the film does anything with it... but it's there.) And the other good thing? It's not really found footage. I kind of think this might be the way for big(ger) budget flicks to go. Make it a traditionally shot movie, but use the found footage stuff to sexy it up a little. I think the parts of the film that work best are these little forays into found footage. But yeah, it's still bad.
As you might expect, the story involves a group of archaeologists who uncover a hidden pyramid underground. They're all stoked, because it only has three sides, which is unlike anything they've ever come across. Just before they're about to go exploring, the government says the region has become politically unstable and they need to get out ASAP. Hotshot archaeologist Nora is all pissed, and she convinces her dad (the leader of the expedition) to let them go in, just for a quick peek. He's hesitant, but she wears him down. So in they go on a low-key/stripped down mission (they don't really tell anyone, because they're not supposed to be there): two archaeologists, tech guy (who needs to retrieve his little space rover camera thing) and two journalists who made a deal with Nora to cover whatever happens. They think it will be a big story! And lucky for us, they are documenting it on video, so we can get some found footage flavor for our troubles.
Which is too bad, as it's got a couple of interesting things going for it. First off, the story/setting is relatively unique: there hasn't been a big haunted Egypt/mummy/pyramid film in recent memory (screw the Sommers flicks), and it'd be interesting to see an update of that. Plus, the political strife in the region lends a little extra air of unpredictability to things. (Not that the film does anything with it... but it's there.) And the other good thing? It's not really found footage. I kind of think this might be the way for big(ger) budget flicks to go. Make it a traditionally shot movie, but use the found footage stuff to sexy it up a little. I think the parts of the film that work best are these little forays into found footage. But yeah, it's still bad.
As you might expect, the story involves a group of archaeologists who uncover a hidden pyramid underground. They're all stoked, because it only has three sides, which is unlike anything they've ever come across. Just before they're about to go exploring, the government says the region has become politically unstable and they need to get out ASAP. Hotshot archaeologist Nora is all pissed, and she convinces her dad (the leader of the expedition) to let them go in, just for a quick peek. He's hesitant, but she wears him down. So in they go on a low-key/stripped down mission (they don't really tell anyone, because they're not supposed to be there): two archaeologists, tech guy (who needs to retrieve his little space rover camera thing) and two journalists who made a deal with Nora to cover whatever happens. They think it will be a big story! And lucky for us, they are documenting it on video, so we can get some found footage flavor for our troubles.
Once they're in the pyramid, things (predictably) don't go as planned. They get lost and start freaking out, and the construction of the pyramid is unlike anything our archaeologists have ever seen. It's like a labyrinth... but is it designed to keep people out? Or to keep some *thing* in?
So I'll kind of ruin the one exciting part of the film (don't worry - it disappoints you on it's own anyways). I had (reasonably, I thought) assume that pyramid=mummy, but that's not the case here. When I saw what they may be going for, I was pretty stoked. I love me some [redacted] and thought this would be a good setting for some hell to break loose. But The Pyramid lets you down with some really subpar CG animation. It's not made-for-TV bad, but on the spectrum it sometimes feels closer to a SyFy film than a theatrical release. And it's too bad - it really ends up being kind of an interesting angle, but the execution is just not there. With a small amount of tweaking The Pyramid could work very well as an Alien-style "we're trapped in claustrophobic-quarters" sort of thing, but it ends up just being a poorly shot CGI cluster fuck. It's another problem with the film - not only is it really bad, but there's some potential in the story too. So you can get angry at it for not only what it is but also for what it could have been.
So I'll kind of ruin the one exciting part of the film (don't worry - it disappoints you on it's own anyways). I had (reasonably, I thought) assume that pyramid=mummy, but that's not the case here. When I saw what they may be going for, I was pretty stoked. I love me some [redacted] and thought this would be a good setting for some hell to break loose. But The Pyramid lets you down with some really subpar CG animation. It's not made-for-TV bad, but on the spectrum it sometimes feels closer to a SyFy film than a theatrical release. And it's too bad - it really ends up being kind of an interesting angle, but the execution is just not there. With a small amount of tweaking The Pyramid could work very well as an Alien-style "we're trapped in claustrophobic-quarters" sort of thing, but it ends up just being a poorly shot CGI cluster fuck. It's another problem with the film - not only is it really bad, but there's some potential in the story too. So you can get angry at it for not only what it is but also for what it could have been.
Horror-wise? You get a moderate amount of gore - nothing crazy but reasonable for a bigger studio flick. One thing in particular feels a little mean-spirited (think pit of spikes), but by that point you get there you've pretty much checked out anyways. But at least it looks kind of cool. And it's not that you dislike the characters and want to see them die or anything. They're pretty standard and generic, but never stuck out as obnoxious or doing anything gratingly stupid.
Really, the big problem is that the whole film just feels uninspired. The actors are trying, and the story is OK, but the surprising lack of tension or atmosphere and the super crappy CGI drag the whole thing down.
Really, the big problem is that the whole film just feels uninspired. The actors are trying, and the story is OK, but the surprising lack of tension or atmosphere and the super crappy CGI drag the whole thing down.
And I feel like they may of hoped for a sequel? Stick around after the credits (if you can even make it there) - it seems like they were keeping the door open for a "military fights [redacted]" for The Pyramid part two. But I feel pretty confident that's never going to happen.
I would not recommend this film.
I would not recommend this film.
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