November 21st, 2014 - Find Me (2013)

There ought to be some kind of law where you should have to list if a house is haunted when you are selling it. I mean, you are bound by law to say if there's ever been water in the basement - why not malevolent spirits? I guess there *is* a buying history. As it is explained by a somewhat helpful neighbor in Find Me, the haunted house in question has been moved in and out of in a span of a day (in one case) or a week (in another). But he never thought to ask why. Although I suppose the buying history would only say when it's been bought and sold, not when it's been moved in and out of. It would suck to buy a haunted house, is what I'm saying.

Anyways, Tim (Cameron Bender) and Emily (Kathryn Lyn) are moving back to the town Emily grew up in. They got a great deal on an old house, but from the moment they move in, strange things start to happen. Emily is the main witness to most of this, as Tim is always either at work or getting food. Things are knocked off of the shelves, a music box turns up out of nowhere, notes saying the titular "Find Me" start to show up written on the mirrors. Despite being scared, they cannot afford to leave, having spent all of their cash on this place. So, they do a little research on the house, and they set out to do what the ghost is asking. Will they Find [it]? Will the increasingly malicious spirit cost Emily and Tim their sanity, or something even worse? Tune in to find out!

Find Me is a mostly competently made movie. Aside from some glaring errors (more on that later), the movie is nicely shot and looks really good. The scenery at the beginning of the film looks flat out gorgeous - Silt, Colorado must be a beautiful place. The non-horror shots are well framed, the lighting is good, and the camera moves with confidence. From a technical perspective, director Andy Palmer has made a solid film.

Unfortunately, the horror stuff just doesn't fare that well. Since the backstory of the ghost is a mystery for most of the film, it's just this nameless thing that shows up and then... goes away. Yes, seeing a ghost in person would be pants-shittingly scary, but you have to sex it up a little for the motion picture audience. Most of the time this ghost just shows up in the background. And sometimes doesn't even do that. There are two times in Find Me where the characters swear they can see something, and then when they cut to it, you can't see it. I think you're supposed to be able to (if the music is any indication), but I couldn't - and I even rewound a couple times to check.

But it does have my favorite kind of ghost: the kind that looks just like your wife, and shows up while you're in bed and has sex with you. This is Tim's only interaction with the ghost, I think. When he finds that Emily was in the other room the whole time, he says "I think I saw the ghost." Ha! You did a lot more than see it, buddy.

Kathryn Lyn does a good job with her role as Emily - she's definitely the focal point of Find Me, and is convincing and likable enough to get you on her side. At first, I thought she played things a bit too depressed or something (just from her body language and general disposition), but as the film goes on the choice starts to make sense. I wasn't too on board with the other actors though. Tim (Cameron Bender) wasn't bad per se, but I didn't sense much chemistry between him and Emily. Emily's friend Claire (Rachelle Dimaria) was pretty bothersome, although the script wasn't doing her any favors by painting her as the annoying best friend.

But still, from the credits it looks like Lyn and Bender (along with director Andy Palmer) were the main forces creatively on the film (as they all wrote and coproduced), so it's commendable that they made a workable film that didn't require much by way of sets (mostly just an empty house), needed only a few actors, and ended up looking really sharp. Plus there was a note at the very end of the credits thanking "everyone else who has supported our crazy hopes and dreams" which is really quite charming. I hope this gets them enough money to make another movie together, and I feel a little bad ripping on it. But:

For an R-Rated horror movie, it just isn't that scary. I'd argue that the box art is about as frightening as it gets. After you see the ghost pop up in the background a couple of times, it looses steam. And it seems like a totally harmless spirit, until it just ups and becomes a vicious murderer for no real reason. I'm not saying you need a pile of bodies to make things scary, but you do need a little bit of tension. I just wasn't feeling it here. It's too bad, because the non-ghost stuff is so well put together.

Also, this movie has some issues with writing. When Tim is doing some research at the library, he comes across some old newspaper articles that may be relevant to their haunting. I would have at least typed them in Word to see if they passed the grammar- and spell- check before I gave them the slow-pan treatment: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Find Me. Or, Find the typos. I've gotten to 4!

That's just kind of bush league. Either get the spelling right, or make it quick. Or just do a headline! It's sort of indicative of Find Me having the right ideas, but just not quite being able to execute them.

So yeah, it's not terrible by any means, and eventually you get a pretty unique and dramatic (if not unbelievably coincidental) backstory to the ghost, which is more than the usual "Indian Burial Ground" or whatever. (Which reminds me, please stop referencing better horror movies in your horror movies! We get a "comical" "They're heeeeere" in this one.) But, due to the horror stuff just not really working, it's hard to recommend. There is some good stuff here though - I wish them better luck next time out.

I would   not recommend   this film.