Well, this was a rough one. I just kind of picked it at random... Can you be disappointed if you go into something with no expectations? If The Beast in the Cellar is any indication, yes, you can. It's not a a terribly made film or anything like that - it's just really, really, dull.
It actually starts out with some promise - there are a bunch of British soldiers doing some maneuvers out in the countryside. One soldier wanders a bit off track to a semi-isolated location, and is attacked by the titular Beast. (Or a cameraman. Basically, there are a bunch of growling noises, and the camera just kind of shakes around frantically, and the shot cuts to claw marks & blood, and the guy screams. And Repeat. This is acceptable for the first attack, but it's pretty much the exact same attack that we get three or four more times later in the film.) Shortly afterwards, we're treated to two cops on the scene - in classic British Movie Cop style, they both have this dry sense of humor as they try to guess what could have done this. Man? Animal? Manimal? They land on leopard, but they are wrong. I was actually looking forward to seeing more of these two. Alas, we cut away from them, and they are never seen again.
We then move on to our *actual* main characters - two 60-ish sisters Ellie (Beryl Reid) and Joyce (Flora Robson), bickering about keeping up their isolated home. They bicker about their food, cooking, their tea, and what they are going to do for the day. It's not fighting, but it's not entirely pleasant. It's not that entertaining, either. They have never married and appear to only really have each other and the house to care for. They are slightly eccentric, but not hermits - there is a young Private in the military that stops by to check on them from time to time.
Basically, nothing really happens to them for the first act of the film. I guess we're supposed to be getting to know them, but there just isn't really anything going on. It sets a boring tone, which gets you prepared for more boredom to come. Plot-wise? Beyond that, we're getting into spoiler territory. So, if you ever think you may want to see this thing (I would advise against it), stop here.
Part one is getting to know everybody. Part two is finding out that they secretly had... a beast in the cellar. A beast that has escaped. And some killings. Part three is the ladies telling their side of the tale followed by the hunt for the beast.
It's too bad Beast in the Cellar is so dull. I mean, focusing your horror movie on two 60 year old women may not be a sure fire recipe for success, but it certainly is unique. Flora Robson is great as the responsible and stoic big sister Joyce - unfortunately, she spends most of the second half of the film in a coma. Beryl Reid has a much more active role as Ellie, and walks a fine line between endearing and annoying, which I presume is by design. She's far less confident than her older sister and is clearly in over her head with the whole "beast in the cellar" situation, and Reid does a nice job conveying her apprehension and fear. So while the actresses playing them are actually quite good in their roles - the script just doesn't have that much for them to do.
There just isn't any energy here. The film just sort of plods along, and there is very little that is noteworthy - the camera work is plain, the music is just kind of there, and the overall look of the film is drab. Even spots that should be exclamation points are just kind of lifeless. While the attack scenes have some frenetic camera work, it's not put together in a way where you can really tell what is going on. I mean, the big mystery of the whole thing is "what is the deal with this beast" - when you can't show the monster it sort of neuters the attack/stalking scenes. It takes a special kind of skill to make an unseen monster tense/exciting, and that skill is not present here.
And it suffers as a horror film because of it. If it wasn't for the horror-bait title and the blood in the attack scenes, you might not even know it's supposed to be a horror movie. There is very little tension anywhere, and while the resolution of the story is disturbing in concept, it's revealed in the least-interesting way possible (during a *very* long police interview).
There is one point towards the end of the film where Ellie is telling her whole story to the police, and the policeman just kind of rolls his eyes, exhausted with her story - you can see that he's just thinking "get on with it." That just about sums up my feelings for The Beast in the Cellar.
I would not recommend this film.
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