The Long Hair of Death is a gothic Italian joint that takes place in the Middle Ages - the fifteenth century, if you can read the text on the terrible transfer, that is. The story kicks off with a witch being burned to death for the crime of murder. Interestingly, not at the stake - they put her in a small house made of twigs and set that on fire. Before she burns, her oldest daughter Helen (Barbara Steele) begs the ruling Count Humboldt to let her live - she has proof that someone from the Count's inner circle had actually committed the crime! The Count agrees, but only if she sleeps with him first. Classy. While he's busy forcing himself on Helen, they burn her mother to death anyways. Before she burns to death, she casts her last curse on Count Humboldt, his family, and the people of the town. Also bearing witness to this whole thing is Helen's younger sister Elizabeth. Shortly thereafter, Helen in thrown into the river and killed by Count Humboldt, who is still concerned with the curse put forth by Helen's mom.
Many years pass, and the witch's curse has taken the form of the black plague - people are dying in the streets and the populace is restless. Despite the Count's warning, Humboldt's even jerkier son Kurt is insistent that the now grown and beautiful Elizabeth (Halina Zalewska) will be his bride. What women wanted didn't matter much in the 15th century - Elizabeth tells Kurt how much she hates him and his family (they did kill her mother after all), and she'll never, ever, be with him. He's all "I don't care, I'm going to have you anyways." The next scene is their wedding. Maybe shortly thereafter (the passing of time is not well represented in this film), a stranger named Mary (also Barbara Steele) shows up at the castle, who is the spitting image of Helen. The Count dies of fright, still preoccupied as he is with the curse. This is good for Kurt, as he is now the ruling Count Humboldt!
The new Count is instantly smitten with Mary, and becomes obsessed with being with her (despite his marriage, which seems to be going okay now). Mary is into it too, and the two of them will stop at nothing - including murder! - to be together. Things don't go as planned. So, now that the old Count is dead, is the witches curse still in play? Will the real culprit(s) be brought to "divine justice" as the movie likes to say again and again? Tune in to find out!
The first thing I need to mention - and this is not the movie's fault whatsoever - is that the transfer is terrible. The credits are nearly unreadable (as you can probably see in the title screen), and there is a notable hiss over the audio track. But it's called a Budget Pack (50 Tales of Terror!) for a reason.
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| Damn you, Mill Creek! |
But the movie itself is pretty solid. It's got good performances, especially from George Ardisson as the evil Kurt. He is an exceptionally punch-worthy baddie in this movie - spoiled rotten and just an all around smarmy ass. A lot of the second half of the movie rides on his ability to act all tense and crazy, and he does a fine job of it. I haven't seen a lot of Barbara Steele movies - but she's good here in her dual roles. But there is something about her that is just kind of distracting to me. She almost looks too uniquely pretty, like too movie star-ly? It's hard for me to take her characters in these gothic films seriously because she is almost too modernly attractive to blend in with the 15th century settings. Does that make any sense? It's nothing against her - I love her performances and the roles she chooses. My problem, I guess.
The gothic vibe is good, with really cool sets - you get the requisite foreboding castle, complete with a basement crypt and secret passageways. There's also various types of eerie music on the soundtrack, ranging from drum driven full-orchestral pieces to a haunting theme played on the keys (or maybe mellotron?) that reminds me of a Nine Inch Nails melody from The Downward Spiral. Overall, the film moves along at a decent pace and never really gets boring.
I guess my biggest gripes are that it seemed to borrow heavily from The Tell-tale Heart, and that parts of it were a little hard for me to understand at times. For instance, there is a big section in the middle that revolves around a plan that Kurt and Mary have hatched. It would have been more dramatic if you knew the plan ahead of time - watching it unfold was more confusing than scary.
And I love some of the archaisms you get in these old gothic films. The witch burning is always perplexing to me ("She's scared - it proves she's a witch" is just sheer craziness). But what's interesting is the victims ALWAYS prove their executioners correct by cursing them as they burn to death. It would make me feel at least a little justified in burning them. Also, we don't burn effigies in celebration enough any more. Maybe for my next birthday.
So I'd say it's worth a watch. If you are bothered by shitty transfers, stay far away from the Mill Creek version. The one on Amazon Prime is pretty bad too (it may even be the same one). It wouldn't be the first one to watch if you're just dabbling in gothic horror (I suppose Black Sunday would be the consensus there) - but if you know you are into these old gothic pictures you'll find enough to like.
I would recommend this film.
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